September/October

I haven't posted anything lately about my Happiness Project.

Inside of Maria's Taverna

My focus for September was work (go the extra mile). I figured that September would be the perfect month to do this since I was arriving back to Vancouver from Rossland and would be looking for a new job right away. I did concentrate on work for the whole month, but I didn't have specific resolutions. I arrived back in town on September 3rd after my birthday trip to Tofino and on September 4th I handed out 10 resumes. I handed out 10 more on September 5th. On September 6th, I was in the middle of handing out more when I got a phone call from Gelsy at Kitsilano Daily Kitchen asking me if I wanted to come in for an interview that afternoon. I went straight there and met Brian and got instant good vibes from everyone there. They offered me a trial shift for the following Monday (the 10th). While I was talking to Brian I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I got a voice mail from Lori at Maria's Taverna asking me to come in the following day (Friday the 7th) for a training shift. No interview, no trial. Just training and if I didn't suck slash everyone liked me, I would have the job. Since Daily seemed a little higher end, I was worried that I wouldn't end up getting the job after my trial shift, especially when they realized how little I know about wine, so I figured that doing the training shift at this other place first wouldn't hurt. And that was it. I ended up getting hired at both, so I do lunches at Maria's five days a week and then evenings at Daily three to five times a week. I spent the month of September being punctual, learning/training, asking questions, working as part of the Daily team and being my own manager at Maria's, and dressing appropriately for each setting. I like both of my jobs. I think that eventually I will just work at Daily full-time, but I can't consider that until I am a full-time server making tips. And it's kind of nice right now to be paying off some loans and whatnot. So I guess I get an A for Work-September.

Outside of Kitsilano Daily Kitchen

Now on to October, which is also almost done. This month my focus was family (building bridges). I have a little resentment and hurt that I've carried into my adult life from childhood and I've been especially focusing on letting that go. The past is the past, right? And I can't change who my family members are as people and I have to just accept them for who they are and the choices they make, even if it doesn't make sense to me or if it makes me angry, or if it's different from the philosophy in which I live my life. This is hard to word into a specific resolution because a lot of it is so internal. I've been trying to refocus my thoughts. Whenever I start to think something ill about a member of my family, I stop, take a deep breath, do a little shake (if I'm alone), and think of something positive about them instead - something they've taught me maybe, or something I'm thankful for about them. It's been helpful. There are still a lot of unsaid (and hurtful) thoughts up there floating around in my brain, but at least now I feel like there is a healthy flow happening and I feel less like they are a dormant bomb waiting to explode which the right trigger.

My physical resolutions to help me maintain healthy relationships with my family members were to call Mom and Dad once a week, which hasn't happened. I honestly can't afford (time or money) to talk to my Mom once a week because every phone call lasts over an hour. I call my dad every couple of days, but he picks up on average one in every four times, so I'm lucky if I talk to him once a month. I try to call other family members once in a while, but a lot of them are too busy to pick up the phone and/or call me back. I called my oldest nephew, Noah, on his birthday and left a message, but no one bothered to call me back to even say thank you for the good wishes. I'll keep trying to stay connected, of course, but it is a two-way street. I've got a large and complicated family, but if they don't want to be close with me, it's really their loss because I have a lot to offer as a member of this family. I said I was going to text my brother something at least once a week. I texted him on Thanksgiving and he said he missed me and stuff, so that was nice. I haven't texted him since though. I don't know what to say to be honest. He has made it quite clear to me that he doesn't want my sage advice on any life matter and he resents the way I live my life and thinks I judge the way he lives his (which I do, to be fair), and I assume he doesn't want to hear the little details of my life, which he would probably interpret as bragging anyway. I feel like the only things I could safely text him are funny little pictures or stories that I come across every once in a while, but those happen so scarcely and I'm always worried he'll be in a bad mood and not think its funny or take it the wrong way or something. I know I'm a weird person, but I don't want my little brother to think I'm a complete loser.

The only family that I have around physically is my niece, Meegan, who lives in Surrey with her boyfriend, Allen (which is the same name as my brother, Meegan's father, so don't get confused) and her two sons, Lyric and Saren. Lyric turned two in July and Saren was just born a couple of weeks ago and I haven't actually met him yet. Meegan has an older sister, Jacqueline, who is technically my niece as well, but she has never shown interest in having a relationship with me, despite my offers to be in her life. She lives in Surrey too, but I haven't seen her in probably 15 years. Meegan and I get along great though and I love that we have the relationship that we do. I want to make the commitment to have a "family day date" with them once a month. I want to be the awesome aunt to Lyric that takes him out to do fun stuff and have family dinners with the whole family. I'd even consider living with them one day and us really being a big family for a while. I had plans with them last Sunday but had to cancel to film a short. It'll happen soon though.

It just occurred to me now that working on my family tree every day would have been a great resolution for this month, but it's a little late to make it a monthly goal now. I'll have to find a way to incorporate more research into my life though. There is still so much missing on it and I should get as much information as I can about the family before some of the members pass on. What a cool keepsake it would be to have it all documented in some form.





Well that's it for this month. I'm sorry that it was a lot less organized than August's resolutions, but it will get better, I promise. Until next time, keep smiling - remember that you are in control of your own happiness!

xo Emily

Over the Rainbow

Okay. I'm ready.

It's time to talk about Toronto.

I didn't post about my experience with 'Over the Rainbow' because I wanted time to reflect and put some distance (no pun intended) between myself and my Toronto stint. I wanted to look back and think of it as a positive learning opportunity, which it was, but immediately after it all happened, I will admit that naturally there were some feelings of disappointment and resentment, but I didn't want that to be the tone of this post. 

So here we go. Here's the play by play as to what happened. 

It all started by A Particular Class of Women winning the Fraser Valley Zone Festival. This is the show I was in at the time. If we didn't win, I made plans to leave the Monday morning (the awards ceremony was on the Saturday night) to power-drive up to Fort St. John to visit my parents for a couple days before heading to Rossland, where I would spend the rest of my summer. I had rented my room out to a friend for the summer, who was scheduled to move in on the Monday as well. Tight schedule for sure. I didn't really suspect that we would win the festival until after we had performed in it. Then, low and behold, we did. The winners get to participate in a workshop with the adjudicator to make improvements to the show before it goes off to Mainstage (the provincial-wide festival) three weeks later. The workshop was originally scheduled for Sunday morning after the awards ceremony, but the time conflicted with Stephen Drover (the adjudicator), so it was switched to the Tuesday evening. I had to cancel my trip to see my parents and had to sleep on the couch starting Monday night, but that is a fairly small sacrifice considering the amazing opportunity it was to work with Drover. I was a little sad because I haven't seen my family in over a year, but I was also really excited for what we had accomplished. After the workshop, my director, John Stuart, wanted to schedule one more rehearsal with me before I left for the summer. And then that would be it until I returned on June 21st for a dress rehearsal and two performances in one weekend. The rehearsal was scheduled Wednesday evening. This all occurred between May 26th and May 30th. 

At this point I had planned to leave for Rossland Thursday May 31st, but then my friend and castmate, Lori, offered me her Idina Menzel concert ticket. She couldn't go anymore and I hadn't bought one since I didn't plan to be in town anymore. It worked out perfectly and I figured, 'What's two more days? I can stick around til Friday night. I'll leave Sunday morning...' I came home late Wednesday night. My roommate, Nicole, gets up early every morning because she works in North Van, so she was sleeping when I got home and got up before me on Thursday morning. Thursday evening she was surprised to see me home. She thought I had left for Rossland already. When I told her of my plan to stick around for the concert and then leave Sunday she suggested I come to "this CBC audition thing" with her the next morning. She didn't know a lot of details. She said they were looking for someone to play Dorothy in 'The Wizard of Oz' and that all I had to do was sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "you know the words to that, right?" I was hesitant. I didn't want to go to an audition unprepared, especially if it was going to be filmed on national TV. She finally convinced me though, rationalizing that she would probably wake me up really early on her way out the door anyway, so I 'may as well come'. So that was that. Decision made. We got up at 4:30 am to get ready and then drove downtown to the Sheridan Hotel to arrive at 6. 

We had no idea what to expect. Would there be a line up? Would we have to wait outside? How long was this going to take? We tried to prepare for anything. We brought towels to sit on. We packed lunches. We brought music binders and headshots and resumes and dance shoes. Card games to help pass the time. Disney trivia included. We tried to think of everything and anything.

It turned out to be just about the opposite of what we expected. We were allowed right inside. There was coffee and tea available for us. And there was practically no one there. I think we were number 6 and 7 to arrive. We expected there to be a huge line up out the door of people who had been camping there overnight, like you see on 'American Idol'. Just a slight underestimation. One or two more girls arrived in the next hour and a half, but the bulk of people arrived between 8 and 8:30 am. Registration was at 9. At 8:30 CBC arrived and one of the producers asked us to go outside to make a line and make it look like we had been waiting outside this whole time. Now this is more like what I expected would happen... Typical reality show.

So out we went. Another half an hour or so passed and then they started filming random stuff. Interviewing a couple people that stood out, asked us how long we had been there, etc. They got us to show things like "Vancouver!" "Dorothy!" "Over the Rainbow!" "I'm Dorothy! No, I'm Dorothy!" at the camera and when they got the shots they wanted we were finally allowed back inside to register. I was third in line. My friend Chelsea was #100 - the first to arrive, the first in line, and the first in to audition. I was #102 and the third to audition. There were several rooms of pre-screening happening. Nicole was #105 or 106 but had been whisked into another room to be seen by a different pre-screener. I chatted with the other people in line. There was a Mexican girl who I don't remember the name of; Gwendolyn, who talked in a baby voice and was freaking out because she didn't have a resume on her because the website hadn't said to bring one; a couple others who are blank faces now that a couple months have passed, and then who could forget - Christie Stewart. She was behind us in line when we were waiting outside as well and she had ended up in my pre-screening group as well. I talked with her throughout that beginning portion of the day. She reminded me so much of my friend Grace that it was unreal. She was the only one in the group not wearing a dress or skirt. I remember almost distinctly her jeans and denim vest. She joked, "Oh... Was I supposed to dress up for this? Whoops" and we convinced her that she would be more memorable for having an actual sense of style. A really cool chick.

I got through the pre-screening and that's when my panic started to set in. What if they were putting me through as one of those bad people that everyone laughs at once it's aired on TV? More importantly - where was Nicole? Back to the holding room to wait. The thing I learned about reality TV - you do a lot of waiting. You wait for what seems like forever and then ten million things happen all at once. Then you wait some more. And then everything happens in a whirlwind again. So here I was waiting for Stephanie Gorin, a casting director with an impressive set of credentials. Waiting with me to go in was Mackenzie Kvettel, a 16-year-old from Surrey, and a blonde girl about my age that I recognized from other auditions around town. Mackenzie was adorable and it turned out that we had a mutual friend and ...Amy?... joked to the cameras that she was wearing a yellow dress because she was actually auditioning for the part of the yellow brick road. It was finally my turn. I was a lot calmer than I thought I would be. Maybe it was because I didn't really care whether or not I got through. To be honest, I hardly knew anything about the whole situation. My only desire at that point was to not be recorded singing terribly and have to live through that embarrassment. So I sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"... and messed up the words. Stephanie said that she could tell I wasn't super familiar with the song and asked that I sing something else. I blurted out a verse from "Mama Who Bore Me". She wanted something spunkier. A moment of panic as I mentally scanned my music binder for an uptempo and "Oklahoma?" from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels jumped out at me. Well, Rachel Hart once told me that I should sing that song for every audition I ever went to. So I did. Stephanie laughed and said "Now there's the fiestiness that our Dorothy needs. Now sing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' again, but with that attitude" I did. But I messed up the words again. In the same place. I got a lecture about coming to auditions unprepared and without doing my research on the show and it's "pivotal song". She had her hand over my resume. Part of me was embarrassed. I'm old enough to know better. Part of me wanted to roll my eyes. Everything on reality TV is so dramatic. And part of me wanted to run. I was so relieved that it was over that I just wanted to get out of the cameras sight as soon as possible. Then, to my surprise, she smiled, moved her hand, flipped over a piece of cardstock and said, "But I think you could be Dorothy". I didn't know what to say. Or do. I'm not really the jump-up-and-down-and-scream type. And I'm not a cry-from-happiness-and-relief person. I was just in denial. And shock. I said thank you, took the ticket, and left the room. I was the second Vancouver Dorothy to get a callback to Toronto.

Producer Allan was not pleased with my reaction. He wanted me to jump up and down and get excited. I can't do that genuinely. That's just not who I am. Especially when I'm in shock like that. Finally somebody sent Nicole around the corner. She saw the ticket and did what the producer wanted me to do for me. She screamed, jumped up and down, and ran over to practically tackle me with one of her signature bear hugs.

Chelsea had gotten through too. The first Dorothy not only in Vancouver, but in Canada. Shortly after me Mackenzie also got her ticket. And then Christie! Chelsea especially did a ton of interviews because she was the first one. I got asked to do a couple, but I mostly avoided the cameras. At that point I had no idea when the callbacks were and wasn't sure if I could attend between my Rossland contract and my performances with A Particular Class of Women. There was already some tension between the two things and I didn't feel like I could afford to ask from time out from either. It's sad, but instead of allowing myself to be excited, all I could think was 'What have I done?' My fear was that one of my cast members of APCW or the director would see me or hear my name on TV before I had a chance to talk to them myself and explain. So I tried my best to avoid the media, which was not in my favor for a competition like this, but I felt it was the right thing to do. We had to wait around until lunch to fill out paperwork and talk to the representatives, but then we were sent away for a break. Nicole, Chelsea, and I went for rather large beers at a nearby restaurant. Well needed.

After the break we went back to the hotel, but nothing much happened. We watched them interview a couple of people. Jennifer Gillis and her twin were one interview. I wasn't entirely sure what to make of her, to be honest. She looked the part, sure. Obviously I didn't hear her sing. The way she interacted with her sister was cute, but a little creepy. It was the stereotype of the twins you see in movies. They finished each others sentences and talked at the same time and giggled. I guess all stereotypes have to be based off of some truths, right? Another interview we saw, and my God I so wish they aired it, was a 30-year-old science teacher who talked about the musical she wrote about Justine Beaver, a beaver that sang about the periodic table. She even demonstrated a rap from the show. She looked super young for thirty and came back with quite the witty response when the producer asked her why she wasn't married. We left before she auditioned, but apparently we didn't miss much - she didn't make it through.

Just a few hours later and it was showtime. After everything that had happened that day I wasn't sure if I was going to make it through the Idina Menzel concert, but I managed. She opened with none other than "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", which was just the cherry on top of the perfect day. The rest of the concert was awesome. Idina is a great storyteller. When she sang "Take Me or Leave Me" she pulled up a couple of audience members to sing with her and my friend Emily was one of them. I have a recording of it on my phone. Idina and Emily sounded amazing together. I hope it's not the last time I see the two of them perform as a duo! We went for drinks after the show nearby and watched for Idina to come out so we could get a picture with her.

A few days later I finally got the courage to talk to John about the situation. At that point, I knew I would be needed in Toronto for 72 hours somehow around the date of June 21st. My show with APCW was June 22nd. John wasn't happy, but was at least civil about it. He, naturally, had already heard and done some research on the matter himself. We figured we would wait it out for some more details before making any rash decisions. Then basically that was it for a while. I left the next morning for Rossland.

I phoned CBC several times over the next couple of weeks to try and find out more information. What was the itinerary going to look like, for example? I explained that I was scheduled to be in another show, and they showed concern but I never got any information. John finally got tired of waiting for information and decided to replace me in his show. I was a little angry and disappointed, but I was mostly relieved. It was just another weight off my shoulders. It also meant that I wouldn't be missing the opening night of my Rossland show to do this. So the Rosslanders were happy. It also meant that I now owed APCW money because they had already paid for my flight back to Vancouver which was non-refundable, and I know I'm not contractually obliged to pay them back for them, but I am morally. I'm scheduled to send them a cheque next month.

The three weeks in between the Vancouver audition and the Toronto callback, we had been told that whole time that we would be singing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' again, but with accompaniment this time. Three days before I was scheduled to leave for TO, we got an email that was basically like "Just kidding. Here are four songs you have to learn". Umm... May I remind anyone that I'm in ROSSLAND? No voice coaches or pianists for miles. I was on my own. Luckily, my friend John helped me out a lot and there is a choir director in town that shed me some insight as well. I now have in my repetoire "Tell Me on a Sunday" from Tell Me on a Sunday, "Memory" from Cats, "Someone to Watch Over Me" from Crazy For You, and "The Trolley Song" from Meet Me in St. Louis. 

List of things I never wanted to do in my life:

#1. Sing "Memory"

#2. Sing "Memory" in front of Andrew Lloyd Webber

Alas, I have to say the song grew on me and it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated.

I attended my regular Rossland rehearsal until 5:30 pm on June 19th. As the choreographer, the director had requested that all the dances be done and polished before I left so that all my assistant had to do was run the numbers while I was away. I held a dance rehearsal in the morning starting at noon. We danced until 5:30, ending with the cancan rehearsal. After cleaning the piece, I ran it six times in a row and then literally grabbed my things and jumped in my car to head for the airport, still sweating in my dance clothes.

These are pictures from the Trail Airport. The whole thing.
You wait for your plane in a room that looks like my grandfather's den, complete with fireplace. Then you get up, go outside to board your plane. No security. At all. I could have brought a gun with me. Seriously.

Since I was carless, I decided to spend the night with Chelsea at her house in Surrey so we could travel to the airport together in the morning and I wouldn't have to leave at 5 am to bus with all of my stuff. I landed in Vancouver approximately 7:30 pm but Chelsea was working until 11:30 so I bused to the studio where a bunch of my friends were rehearsing for a production of 'Rent'. I watched the last hour or so and then went with them to our regular karaoke night. I didn't sing or drink (actually, I had given up alcohol for an entire month) because I wanted to save my voice, but it was nice just to see my friends and be in Vancouver again. Proof that I was meant to live in the city, if anything. When Chelsea was off work I went to meet her and we skytrained to Surrey. We got there and into bed by 1 am. Then my alarm went off.

We had to leave for the airport at 5 am. Since we had no idea what was happening, we decided to be camera-ready from the moment we arrived at the airport. We showered, did our hair, make-up. It was a strange feeling to put make-up on at 4:00 am. Especially that much make-up. It totally felt like getting up early - that eerie quietness of the entire neighborhood sleeping and trying not to wake the others in the house while you get ready to leave, yet we were putting on the kind of make up that I would usually apply for going out for a late dinner or something. By 5:00 am we were ready and out the door. Got to the airport about 5:30 am. We found the other Dorothys in the waiting area. It was easy to spot Jennifer and Mackenzie, and I recognized Fiona, Kiara, and Caitlin from the Twitter feeds. Shylo was the only one I had not seen a picture of, but Chelsea knows her so eventually she was sitting with us too. We started to worry that Christie had not made it to the airport when we realized she was flying from Victoria, not Vancouver. Der. Out of the Vancouverites, Shylo, Chelsea, and I were the unchaperoned ones. The rest of the girls had their mom with them, and one had her dad. We got to know them all a little bit before finally boarding the flight at 6:30 am.

Boarding!

Flight left at 7:00 am. I ended up sitting between Shylo and Chelsea, which was fun. The flight was 4 hours and 20 minutes and landed at 2:20 pm Toronto time. Sure is an easy day to waste a day between the flight and the time difference. There was a guy with a sign that said "Over the Rainbow" waiting for us at the airport to escort us to our van.

Shuttle bus from airport

Winnipeg Dorothys arriving at the airport, including  my friend, Jana, and Colleen Furlan

We arrived at the hotel around 3:30 pm, registered, got our room keys (Chels and I were bunking together) and then freshened up to go grab some dinner before the show. We only had two hours to eat and be back in the lobby so we just went across the street to East Side Mario's. We met up with Michelle - Chelsea, Michelle, and I are all alumnus from the same college. They attended together the year after I graduated. 

Michelle :-)

Michelle's Shirley Temple, with cotton candy garnish!

Mirvish Productions and CBC had surprised us by buying tickets to see 'War Horse'. Coincidentally, my friend Grant is in the show. I had wanted to buy a ticket to see it, but since I didn't know what my CBC schedule would look like, I didn't want to chance buying a ticket and then not being able to go. Well God works in mysterious ways. I got to see it after all. The only catch was that all 100 girls had to wear the silly D? t-shirts overtop of our nice outfits. Small sacrifice to pay for seeing 'War Horse' for free.

The guy on the wall looks like my friend Lucas.

Can you spot the Top 20?

After the show my friend Grant offered to give a backstage tour to me and a couple friends. I invited Christie, Shylo, Chelsea, Michelle, and Jana, but Christie and Shylo decided that sleep was more important (fair) so it ended up being us four alumnus. The tour was amazing and was totally the highlight of my trip. And it's encouraging to know that people like Grant, who comes from a smaller town like I do, can make it in this business. Mind you, Grant is immensely talented, but I'm proud to know him and have him as a friend.

By the time we got back to the hotel, it was midnight. Remember that we had gotten up at 3:30 am BC time after only sleeping for two hours. We were exhausted. We rehearsed all our songs once and went straight to bed.

This time we got four hours of sleep. Up, showered, ate a very expensive breakfast at the hotel restaurant, and in the lobby at 7:00 am. From there we walked over to CBC Studios and did a lot of waiting around until we finally got our numbers and we filed into the holding room, which we had to rehearse and do what felt like 100 times. We had a bunch of people come talk to us and then we did an amazing vocal warm up with Jeannie Wyse. When Daryn Jones walked in to talk to us, a bunch of girls screamed and did that 16-year-old flip-out-with-excitement kind of thing. I didn't understand. I had no idea who this guy was and why he was so important. I then learned that he is the host of the show and was on MTV for a while. I guess this is what I get for not watching TV. Eventually we were given the itinerary for the day and split into three audition groups. I was in the first one, which was nice to get it over with. I was like 15th to go in or something like that. Chelsea was very first again. The auditions finally got started at 9 and we had to stay until noon. I can honestly say I performed terribly in the callback. I don't know if it was the lights, or the cameras, or the judges, or the being hungry and exhausted, or the frustration with sitting around a bunch of 15 and 16 year old ninnies who were making me feel ancient. It was just a lot of overwhelming things happening at once. The audition room itself was cool but the acoustics were not something I was used to at all. I felt like my sound was evaporating as I was singing. I couldn't tell how loud I was singing or if I was on pitch (which I knew I wasn't) and I was panicking about forgetting the words again. I didn't, but I made up for it by singing terribly. I was disappointed in myself, but at that point I was so tired of sitting around that I was glad it was all over and down with.

When we were finally released, Christie, Chelsea, Jana and I, with a few of the Winnipeg girls, went shopping and exploring the city. It was sticky hot - an official heat wave - and it was disgusting. I'm not used to that kind of weather! It made me never want to return to Toronto again. Alcoholic beverages were consumed in celebration of what we just accomplished and we had fun just goofing off for the rest of the day. We had to return at 6, where they were finishing up the third audition group. We sat around for an hour or so and then they got us to film some stuff to make it look like we were going into the auditions in groups and stuff like that. Then we sat for at least another hour. All while the judges were deliberating. They called 5 numbers, including Michelle's, and took them into another room for a while. Then they were sent back. That room was the tensest room I had ever been in by far. Everyone was on edge. Finally the producer came out and called twenty numbers. We weren't sure how they were going to announce it, but we had assumed that they would call twenty or so in at a time and then tell about 5 that they had made it through. In the first batch of twenty were Christie, Michelle, and Fiona. They had them in there for a really long time. Then Stephanie Gorin and the other producers and judges came out and told us thank you for coming. Oh. That's it? Well that was anti-climatic. See ya later. I was so proud of Christie and Michelle to make it through (at this point I didn't know Fiona as well). I was kind of glad they didn't make it a big dramatic thing. Like I said before, it was - hurry up and wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, 10 billion things happen at one, then it's over. I was a little sad, but I had known that after my performance I had no chance of making it through. And it was finally over and done with and we could go.

I assumed Chelsea wanted some space, and Shylo wanted to wait for Christie, so I hung out with my new Winnipeg friends and went back to the hotel. We came across Colleen's mom in the lobby. She was surprised to see us finished already and I saw her do a scan of the group, looking for Colleen. I could see traces of concern and confusion in her eyes as to why Colleen wasn't with us. One girl said, "You notice who isn't standing here? ... She did it. She got through" Her mom started to cry and kept saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. This sucks for you guys" but we really didn't mind. It was touching to watch her be so happy and proud for her daughter. It almost made me cry. She ran off to the studio to meet Colleen and we went upstairs to change and whatnot. I finally met up with Chelsea, Jana, and Michelle and we went out for drinks and food. After all the emotional things we had gone through earlier though - we were exhausted. We didn't stay out that late.

Night Views from our hotel room

The next morning we had to be in the hotel lobby at 9 to check out. We were a little concerned about our flight because CBC hadn't sent us the flight confirmation email like they had on the way there, but our car showed up so that was a good sign. This is where I got to know Fiona. She was so friendly and sweet and we chatted almost the whole way home. I hadn't realized she had made it through at first. I wasn't really paying attention when they called the numbers because they were yelling them out really fast. I had noticed Jennifer Gillis, but I was mostly distracted that they had called Christie and Michelle.

We got to the airport and found out that not only was our flight delayed, but a bunch of us were also on stand by because we had waited til last minute to check-in. Way to drop the ball on that one, CBC. They had broken up some daughter-parent teams as well. Fiona was on standby but her dad had a seat. Mackenzie had a seat, but her mom didn't. Chelsea, Shylo, and I were on standby. Caitlin, Kiara, Jennifer, and their moms were all on. Apparently all the flights from Toronto to Vancouver were overbooked for the rest of the day and we may have had to stay an extra night, but they eventually found a way to get all of us on and off we went. They gave us free headphones to say sorry for the inconvenience. The flight back felt much shorter for some reason. And everyone was spread out all over the plane so I was wedged between two strangers, but oh well. I was just glad to be getting back to Rossland at that point.

Overall it was a fun experience. I learned a couple things - about myself and the business. Now that I've seen the show air and everything, I'm a little glad that I didn't make it through. It's not really what I expected it would be and the bottom line is that I love Vancouver and I don't really want to leave. I ran into Kiara's mom the other day when she came into the place that I work. She was glad her daughter didn't make it through either. She didn't feel it would have been worth giving up a year of university for.

As they say about love and heartbreak, there are many fish in the sea. And thankfully, in the acting world, there are also many roles to play. This one wasn't right for me.

Thank you CBC for the great opportunity. That was my first time in Toronto and first television experience and it'll hold a special place in my heart forever.

#teamyellow #cassandrafordorothy