Scentsing the Changes to Come

I've never really been that big on home fragrances. I mostly attribute that to my not-so-acute sense of smell. Whether my puppy has an accident or someone is baking apple crisp, I'm always the last person to notice the smell. My new roommate is the opposite. She is scent-crazy. There are now clove-studded lemons, rose petal soaps and homemade fragrance sprays all over the house. The difference for me seemed marginal at first, but I did start to notice the difference between the common area of my house and the bedroom (where the door always remains shut). I spend much more time in my bedroom than I used to before I had to combine my bedroom and home office. My current struggle is creating a sanctuary-like space where I can do devotions, and read, but also a clean and functional space where I can work. My room has the best window in the suite, so to take advantage of that, I decided bring the outside in with lots of blues, greens and white with pops of yellow, red, black, and a little bit of natural wood. With this in mind, I put up a couple LACK shelves from IKEA and filled them with things I love that remind me of the pending summer - yellow gerbera daisies, grass, an old-fashioned milk jug, lanterns with candles, some objects from my childhood. But I wanted something to make it smell nice as well. It had to be something strong enough so that I could smell it, but I didn't want to walk into an overwhelming cloud of perfume every time I entered the room. Candles are great, but I can't leave them unattended. Incense weirds me out. I don't like the idea of most commercial products, like Glade plug-ins. A few clicks around on the Google machine lead me to this little guy, Alora Ambiance in Isola. I'm in love. I could only find one store in the Greater Vancouver area that sells it - an adorable little boutique in Deep Cove called Room6. It's a diffuser that uses a reed to distribute the light scent of gardenia, tuberose, and fig throughout the day. Not only does it fill my room with a subtle but pleasant aroma, but the design of the bottle is so cute and fits exactly with the natural look I'm going for here. The company says the liquid will last 2-3 months, but the saleslady said hers has lasted for almost a year, so I will let you know! It's a little pricey for something that only lasts 3 months, but a great deal if it lasts a year!

Walking on Sunshine

Three and a half years ago, a friend's sister, who was currently living in the Philippines, sent me a purse for Christmas. It was handmade, red, patterned, and adorable. It was the perfect size, as I'm a person who likes to travel pretty light (phone, keys, wallet - that's it!), and it served me well, but this past weekend, it finally bit the bucket. The strap on it snapped. It's fixable, but it's also about time I branch out and add some variety to my accessories. 

I'm in love with this Rebecca Minkoff Mini Crosby Crossbody. I'm not so in love with its $195 price tag. So I set out to find something similar. 

I could only find a picture of the black one, but it's actually a yellow one I wanted.
Rebecca Minkoff. $195 

While shopping, I also found this market tote at J Crew that I wanted for when I needed to carry more than my three essential items, but again, its more than my budget can handle right now.

J Crew. $57.50

Aaaand success! At none other than H&M. The yellow one was $13 and the white was $18. I've been loving having the pop of yellow with my otherwise neutral outfits and using the white with my colorful sundresses on sunny days. I usually stash the yellow in the white so that when I need to run in somewhere, I don't have to haul my books and everything around in the store with me. Both are casual, but the yellow stands up with my little black dress just fine for a dressier night. I love the leather cord on the handle and how sturdy the white is while still lying flat against my body.

Yay for new spring favorites!

Tulips on Madison Avenue

One of my favorite things about Vancouver is the almost year-round farmers markets. I try to go every Saturday and that's where I get the majority of my local produce. If it grows here this time of year, I get it there. I know some people that are very diligent about the eating local thing. I support the cause, but I love avocados, bananas, and mangoes too much and we're spoiled by being able to get asparagus, berries, and tomatoes almost year-round in the grocery stores, so I'm not very strict about it. Though it sure is a nice feeling to know I'm supporting local farmers when I do.

This past Saturday I just couldn't resist these local, fresh cut tulips. They are adorably blooming on my dining room table, acting as little glimmers of hope for the spring that is on the horizon. The weather has been gorgeous lately and its only just the beginning of March! Then the flowers inspired me to paint my nails this beautiful almost cotton-candy like color by Essie "Madison Ave-hue" I never paint my nails, but it was so fun! I put on 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days' and had a single lady day in - just me and my pug. Happy Spring everyone!

Giving the Boots the Boot: My $400 Collection I Paid $110 For

I don't/won't post about fashion-related things very often, because it's not really in my nature to put that much attention into what I wear. It's not that I don't want to look good, but I've always been so frustrated with my financial situation that I could never justify getting new clothes, even though the majority of the items in my closet are legitimately from 2006-2008. I take really good care of my clothes and am really OCD about the way I wash them (I won't even mix yellow with green or brown with black). But recently, I been really feeling a push to update my wardrobe and simplify it. Although I can confidently say I do wear everything that I own (another OCD thing), I have a large number of items that I wear begrudgingly. I ultimately want less clothing, but a closet full of things I LIKE wearing and that suit my lifestyle, career goals, faith, and personality.


I've spent the last couple of months doing inventory on what I have and what I would like. I gathered pictures of people, celebrities, and TV show characters that I wish to model my style after, just to use as a guideline. I'll do a more thorough post on my exact process of closet-cleaning some other time, so today I'll just mentioned one of the things that came out of it. When I was going over my shoe and boot collection, I realized that many of my pieces were not Vancouver-appropriate.

My collection is small because of two main reasons: 1) Footwear is usually much more expensive than clothing. 2) I have trouble finding shoes that fit. My feet are size 4.5. Really. Many stores do not carry shoes in smaller than size 6. Some styles, like a boot, I can get away with a 5.5 by wearing thick socks or insoles, but pumps and flats I just walk right out of. You would not believe the amount of times that a shoe salesman has tried to talk me into purchasing a size 6 or even 7, that clearly didn't fit, by insisting they could fix it with insoles, which of course I have to pay for. Good grief... Nice try but give me a break!

We are all aware that Vancouver rains a lot, which means closed-toe footwear are needed much more often than open-toed. Whenever I go out, I always struggle with what to wear on my feet. It's usually too cold to wear one of my two pairs of open-toed heels, so I'm left with casual tennis shoes or boots. I had seven pairs of boots sitting in my mudhut - three of which were unwearable, two of which were very weather-specific, one very occasion-specific, and one pair of super casual Uggs. Since it's "boot-weather" 75% of the time here, I decided that was the first area of my wardrobe I needed to really address.

First things first - purge the clutter. I found an organization in Vancouver called the Quick Cobbler, who will repair old shoes and redistribute them to the less fortunate. The three pairs that I deemed unwearable are going there for examination. One might be worn beyond repair, but another are in great condition. They just have a tiny rip in the front because my calves are so large that it put too much stress on the front seam. The other pair are in perfect condition, but are way too small in the calves and cut off my circulation.

Goodbye Boots!

That left me with a pair of cowboy boots, a pair of Uggs, my rain boots, and my snow-boots. The rain boots are just cheap WalMart ones but they have served me well over the last six years of living on the West Coast. The Uggs come in handy for slipping on in the morning and evening when I am taking the dog out for a walk around the block - I rarely wear them beyond that. The snowboots and the cowboy boots went away into storage. I know cowboy boots are kind of trendy right now but mine are real riding boots from my horseback riding days. That means the heel is tapered, so it doesn't get caught in the stir-up, but it also means they are NOT meant for walking on pavement with. I have tried to wear them out but have slipped or almost slipped way too many times. Also, they chafe my legs SO bad if I wear them with skirts/dresses - they are really meant for jeans to be tucked in. They are in good condition and worth keeping, but not worth taking room on my shoe rack.

Next step was to decide what it was I wanted to accumulate. I knew black, flat-heeled boots were a must - they go with most of what I wear, but I also "need"  a lighter color to go with my pastel dresses. I could make due with those two colors, but if I found good deals, I also wanted to replace my gray ones as well as a pair of dark brown ones. I based my colors and shades off of my bottoms, jackets, and purses, since I most often will be seen with the three together. I also browsed around on websites to have an idea of what styles I liked and didn't like and what boots are going for nowadays. I knew I didn't want slouchy, because I know they make me look shorter and more bottom-heavy than I would like, and I didn't want anything stiletto or with a crazy heel - my life is way too busy for that.

My go-to store for footwear is, and probably always will be, Winners. They have a clearly-marked 5-5 1/2 section with the boxes and everything out in the open. That saves me a lot of time and disappointment. I can immediately see what they offer in my size and I don't have to deal with pushy salespeople trying to sell me something ill-fit. I set my budget of $50 per pair of boots. Since I planned to wear them a LOT and mostly likely often in damp weather, I didn't want them to be flimsy or cheap-feeling. I don't mind having to throw out $10 flip-flops after a month, but boots I want to last me several years. Every time I am by a Winners, I pop in to see what they have, and low and behold - I found a pair of black leather boots and a pair of light brown suede heeled boots each for $40. Score!

Between the two pairs, I knew I could get through the fall and winter seasons fashionably just fine, but I still wanted to replace my gray suede boots. So I waited until February when all the boots go on sale to make way for spring and summer stuff. Earlier this week my stepmother came to town. She offered to buy me something as a gift with a budget of $60, which is very kind of her. We went straight to Aldo. I found three styles of gray suede boots that I liked and only one of them came in a size 5. I tried them on and they fit perfectly. Shirley loved them too and insisted I get them. They were regular $110, but we paid $61.40 for them. I'm ecstatic.

So there you go. I didn't know it was possible to write such a long post on footwear, but y'all know I can be long-winded anyway. So that's how I accumulated a $400 boot collection for only $110.

Old Strife to New Life

My view from work on a late January day

Groundhog Day. I realize it's silly and that the groundhog's predictions have only been about 39% accurate throughout the last 125 years, but the always-cold part of me still anxiously awaits Phil's prediction, and hopes that he tells us winter is over. In the history of Groundhog Day, that prediction has only been made 17 times and this year was no exception. Six more weeks of winter for us.

Fort St John winter

Then I remembered how lucky I am to live in Vancouver. For those of you reading my blog for the first time, or who just didn't know, I'm originally from Northern BC. In my hometown, we would get six months of solid winter. And when I say winter, I mean snow-up-to-your-knees, ugly snowsuits, warm-up-your-truck-15-minutes-prior-to-leaving-or-else-the-door-will-be-frozen-shut, -40°C kind of winter. Our summer was nice. Similar temperature-wise to Vancouver, but our fall/spring was almost non-existent. Fall was this season that started at the tail end of August with the first frost that kills everything living, turns the leaves brown, seemingly overnight, and fall to the ground in a matter of days - much faster than anyone could rake them up. Then we would get a dump of snow usually mid-September and it would be cold until middle of April-ish. Temperatures would rise to slightly above freezing. Just enough for the snow to turn to black slush everywhere and for the dog poop that had been frozen and hiding in the snow all winter to thaw out and stink up the town. The yucky, slushy stage lasts about 6 weeks before the last of the snow finally dries out, exposing all the brown leaves that we were too lazy to rake up half a year ago, and allowing the dead, brown grass to begin to revive itself in time for two green, much-too-short summer months. 

Vancouver winter

Fort St John winter

Girls go ape-shit over fall here. We put away our stupid high-waisted, ass-bearing shorts and gladiator sandals and trade them in for tights and ankle booties because we aren't ready to fully let go of the fact that our asses, tits, and legs (aka the things that we think guys like) will be hibernating under baggy clothes all winter. We don't want to be cold though, so we put on "layers" of long shirts and sweaters and an obnoxiously big scarf to overcompensate for the fact that we're not wearing pants on our lower half. We run to Bath & Body Works to be the first among our social circles to burn the 3-Wick Apple Flowers candle that would apparently be inappropriate to burn at any other time of year and then go grab a mediocre latte from Starbucks that we would normally freak out over the amount of calories/sugar/dairy we're consuming that no longer apply because it's PUMPKIN SPICE. We crammed so many holidays and events between the months of October and January to distract us from the cold, winter months. We start with going back to school, which affects us even if we don't go ourselves, then Thanksgiving, Halloween, thinking about Christmas, getting excited for Christmas (and new seasonal Starbucks drinks), preparing for Christmas, almost getting sick of Christmas, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, New Years, and then trying to stay true to our New Years resolutions, which we give up on right around the time we can start anticipating Valentine's Day and starting to notice that the weather has been kinda shitty for the last few weeks. Then we get ONE day resembling spring and we go all season-crazy again. We start purging and cleaning our houses, watching HGTV for DIY ideas, and pulling out our cute dresses and skirts, realize they no longer fit, so we take up running again and give up eating gluten (or whatever it is that makes us fat this year). 

I'm a summer person. I realize that it's not exactly an original thing to say. According to gallup.com, 37% of people prefer spring, 27% prefer fall (probably mostly female), 25% summer, and 11% winter (probably mostly male with a few female snowboard enthusiasts). To me, spring was always just the overture before the real symphony of excitement. Summer is really the only season you will catch me outside being "active" and its the only season where I can wear jeans and a tank top and not be cold. I'm sad that I lose my excuse to stay inside curled up with a good book, but then I remember that avocados, berries, and tomatoes are in season and all is forgiven.

This spring in particular, however, does excite me. There are a lot of new, exciting changes happening in my life right now. Some are sad, but forever an optimist, I'm trying to view even the negative as a window of opportunity that I could use for the better. Spring represents new life and that's exactly how I'm feeling right now - that I am getting a new life. I made a commitment for 2015 to write more regularly so welcome to Emily Finds Bliss, a blog about a young woman's journey to find sincere joy in her life. As spring turns into summer, the pastels will brighten, the food will ripen, and the exciting electricity of the season will explode into a beautiful, hustle-bustle of energy, I too plan to brighten, ripen, and explode in my love for Christ Jesus. I have found a new identity and hope to use this blog to document that. Not everything on this blog is religion-centred - I promise to write about all things that I love and want to share. For now, I will leave you with this quote that I love from Albert Camus that I feel describes my life quite accurately from the course of the last few months:

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. ~ Albert Camus ~

The Book of Mark

The Book of Mark was written by a young man named John Mark. He wrote down the stories that Peter told about Jesus. It is a common misconception of the Bible that Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were each one of the Twelve Apostles, but in fact only Matthew and John were. 

The Book of Mark was written to show us who Jesus is through his life and actions. 

This book was actually intended or the Gentiles. In other words, people who were not Jews. 

In the Book of Mark, Jesus demonstrates his power by performing miracles to help people and he teaches his disciples. 

Jesus is obviously the most important person in this book. 

Jesus worked miracles and taught from 26-30AD. 

Other things that were going on in history:

• Pontius Pilate is appointed as prefect of Judea
• Emperor Tiberius retires to Capri, leaving the Praetorian Guard under Lucius Aelius Sejanus in charge of the Roman Empire and the city of Rome. 
• Romans crush an uprising of Thracian tribesmen, 
• Lucius Calpurnius Piso and Marcus Licinius Crassus Frugi become Roman consuls
• Fire in Rome
• Poorly built ampitheatre in Fidenae collapses, killing 20 000 of the 50 000 spectators. 
• Roman legions in Germania are transported by fleet to fortress of Flevum on the Rhine to operate against the rebellious Frisians. Frisians negotiate treaty with the Romans at the River Rhine, avoiding conquest. 
• King Daru of Baekje succeeds to the throne of Baekje in the Korean peninsula
• Romans captures Serdica (modern Sofia), named after Celtic tribe Serdi
• Agrippina the Elder is exiled to the island of Pandataria, and her sons (except Caligula) are imprisoned by Lucius Aelius Sejanus
• Jesus baptized by John the Baptist
• The Kushan Empire is founded
• The Holy Spirit filled 120 believers in Jesus of Nazareth. These people tell 3000 Jews about Jesus. 
• The Sermon on the Mount - Jesus speaks to his disciples and a large crowd. 

Most events in Mark 1-9 happened in Galilee. Most events in Mark 10-16 took place in or near Jerusalem. 

Favorite stories in Mark:

Mark 2:1-12 - Jesus heals paralyzed man

Mark 4:35-41 - Jesus calms a storm

Mark 5:21-43 - Jesus raises a dead girl

Mark 6:45-56 - Jesus walks on water

Mark 8:1-10 - Jesus feeds 4000 people

Mark 9:14-32 - Jesus heals a young boy

Mark 14:12-26 - Jesus holds the Lord's Supper

Mark 15:21-47 - Jesus dies and is buried

Mark 16:1-8 - Jesus is raised again

Grounding Yourself (Walk-the-Walk series)

Psalm 42:1-4

For the director of music. A maskil* of the Sons of Korah.

As the deer pants for streams of water,

so my soul pants for you, O God. 

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

Where can I go and meet with God?

My tears have been my food

day and night,

while men say to me all day long, 

"Where is your God?"

These things I remember

as I pour out my soul:

how I used to go with the multitude,

leading the procession to the house of 

God, 

with shouts of joy and thanksgiving 

among the festive throng.

Psalm 42 is contained in Book II. In many Hebrew manuscripts Psalms 42 and 43 are one psalm. 

*A 'maskil' is probably a title for a literary or musical term.

Hard Times

Sometimes I feel hopeless. Sometimes I feel so alone. The life, the family, the place I live that I picture in my head is not my reality. I question God. I ask him why he placed me here at this time in this time? Why am I unhappy? Can't you just save me? Where are you and why does it seem like all my hopes and dreams are infinite miles away?

When I read Psalm 42, I sympathize with David (presumably). I believe he wrote this when he also was going through a tough time. I admire how honest he is with God about how he feels. Am I ever that honest? I'm usually so focused on being grateful for the things I have been given that I feel guilty for wanting more so I pretend I'm okay with things that I'm not.

Read 1 Kings 18:16-40 and 19:1-18

I am reminded of Elijah. He accuses Ahab of abandoning the Lord's commands and following the Baals. He requests that Ahab summon the people from all over Israel to meet on Mount Carmel, including the 450 prophets of Baal and the 400 prophets of Asherah.

1 Kings 18:21-22

Elijah went before the people and said, "How long will you waver between two opinions? If Lord is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him."

But the people said nothing.  

Then Elijah said to them, "I am the only one of the Lord's prophets left..."

Elijah devises a plan to prove that Lord is God - he and the prophets of Baal are to each choose a bull, prepare it, and place it on the wood, but not light the fire. Then, they will each call upon the name of their god and the one that answers with fire is the one true God. The Lord answered Elijah's prayer and sent fire to burn up his sacrifice. When the people saw this, they turned their hearts back to the Lord again. Then Elijah commanded them to seize the Baal prophets and slaughter them in the Kishon Valley. When Jezebel heard what Elijah had done, he threatened to kill Elijah. Elijah ran for his life into the desert. There, under a broom tree, he prayed that he might die. "I have had enough, Lord," he said. Take my life" (1 Kings 19:4) But instead, the Lord takes care of Elijah and appears to him to tell him that there are still 7000 godly people in Israel. He is not alone.

I am never truly alone. Another thing I can take from this story: When things seem bad, pray and then get a good sleep. (1 Kings 19:5). Things seem worse when we're really tired. ;-)

From my experience...

It's hard to understand why we suffer. And as much as I think I am suffering sometimes, there are children all over the world that are in much worse positions than I. It's tempting to say that nobody deserves to suffer, yet we are all sinful creatures, so does that mean we do? No. Because the only one who truly didn't deserve to suffer already did for us. The perfect Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice to save us from eternal suffering. Yet I know, sometimes it feels like we really are suffering here on earth. So what do we do? We pray. We tell God we need help. Be honest. Ask him to lead you to someone who can give guidance, because we're not meant to go at this alone. A relative, a counselor, a pastor. Sometimes things happen that we can't find a way out of immediately, but try to remember that you are never alone. God is always with you, just as God was with Elijah in the desert and on the mountain and as he was running ahead of Ahab's chariot. God sees and feels the things you suffer. Don't give up. Keep looking for ways to get the help you need.

After all of that, this is not actually the point of this article. Today I want to talk about discipline. Before you hightail it to the hills at the word discipline, hear me out.

Discipline

Discipline, for many of us, brings back the not-so-fond memories of being a child. Getting grounded for not cleaning your room because you wanted to watch an episode of Full House instead (Guilty as charged!). Getting your phone taken away because your teacher caught you with it in class. Having computer privileges taken away because you were slacking off on homework. Or getting what felt like the longest lecture of your life because you got in trouble at school for giving the teacher sass when she confiscated that really important note you were trying to give to your best friend. I don't have children yet, but I imagine for those of you that do, the word discipline means time-outs for ignoring you, taking dinner away because your 3 year old thought his dinner would look nice on the wall, or pulling your hair out while your child screams bloody murder in her bedroom, where she was sent for biting her sister.

Your list is probably different than mine. This is the short, clean, all-ages version of mine, most definitely. The point is that the word discipline probably has a bit of a negative connotation. It's not typically something we go seeking, right?

The good news!: I'm talking about a different kind of discipline - spiritual discipline. Don't think of it as punishments; think of it as training. It's the kind you choose without anyone forcing you to. You know how when you first moved out of your parents' place you were like, "Whoohoo! I'm going to eat ice cream for breakfast and leave my clothes ALL OVER THE FLOOR!" and now you're like, "WHO PUT THE LITTLE SPOON IN THE BIG SPOON SLOT?!" (Oh, that's just me?) [Just kidding - I still leave my clothes all over the floor...] This is kind of like that. You didn't transition from childhood to adulthood overnight. After time and a lot of trial-and-error, you gradually trained yourself to pick up after yourself and clean your toilet once a month. No one told you to (or maybe they did, but you didn't have to listen), but eventually you felt like you 'should', right?

Spiritual discipline is the kind of training you take on because you want to be closer to God so that you'll always know just what to do, because you don't want to be pressured into doing something just because the rest of the world is doing it, because you want to be full of joy, even when things aren't going so well, because you want to be the person that God wants you to be, and because you want to be free to carry out God's plan for you. [Step one: the Why.]

Yeah sure. We all know why. The question is how. How do we be that kind of person?

• Spending quiet time with God every day in a special place. Prayer jounaling. Get into the Bible for help with today's struggle. 
• Decluttering life. Keeping a clean environment so more time and space can be dedicated to God in daily life. 
• Volunteering for service projects at church
• Praying. Talking to God about the things we aren't proud of. Confessing, repenting, showing remorse. 
• Worship. Attending church service

That's Step two: the How. Step three is putting the discipline into practice - the What, When, Where. (The Who would be you, in case that wasn't obvious)

• A colleague makes a sarcastic comment about you being an ass kisser. Instead of retorting with, "Better than being the office slacker," you say, "Mr. Smith has been very supportive of the project I'm working on. We're so lucky to have a boss that appreciates his employees."
• Between church, work, family, friends, and keeping fit and healthy, your schedule was getting a little crazy and your house is a bit of a disaster. You decide to drop your piano lesson on Saturday mornings to dedicate time to clean up and finally finish painting that old dresser that's been sitting in the middle of your garage for a month. One Saturday morning a friend from Bible Study calls crying and frustrated and in need of some serious girl-time. You have the time to have her over for tea to talk it out. Not only does she have a place to sit, but you can focus on her instead of being distracted and embarrassed by your messy house. 
• You're really shy, so volunteering for things at church gives you anxiety. Start small. Offer to bake cookies for the Mother's Day luncheon, which you can do alone at home. Then maybe offer to help serve them. Next month, join the group going to the homeless shelter to hand out meals. Find an activity that you like to do and find a way to use your skill to serve God. If you are doing something you find fun, it will be a little easier to ease out of your comfort zone and meet people that enjoy serving in the same way you do. 
• Yesterday was not a great day for you. Before you left for work in the morning, you had an argument with your wife about forgetting to put gas in the car and then had to take the bus to work. The driver ignored your stop request and dropped you off several blocks further from your work than you wanted to walk. As you walked away, you muttered under your breath about how incompetent that idiot was. You finally arrived at work half an hour late to discover that another coworker had been assigned to the project that you really wanted. You have trouble focusing the rest of the day. That night when you get home, you veg out on the couch, binge-watching Breaking Bad, keeping your 4-year-old, who isn't allowed to watch the show, out of the den and playing by herself in her room while your wife makes dinner. That night before you go to bed, you prop yourself up on the pillow and pray. You confess about the guilt you are feeling, accept the anger and jealousy, and ask for help and forgiveness. Determined to make tomorrow a better day, you apologize to your wife and offer to get up early to make time to get gas in the morning. You tiptoe into Sophie's room to tell her you love her and that tomorrow you will watch whatever she picks with her. Today you had no trouble concentrating at work. You were proud of what you accomplished by getting up earlier. You actually thoroughly enjoy watching Frozen for the bajillionth time and singing "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" together in a special, before bed performance for the audience of your wife. You enjoyed today because your mind was consumed with the "if only..."s: If only I didn't have such a temper. If only I wasn't so judgmental. If only I wasn't so lazy. Instead you thought, 'God, I'm sorry - will you help me to do better today?'
• I often work until 3 am on Saturday nights. Or rather, I work from 4 pm on Saturday until 3 am on Sunday, but I refuse to say it's tomorrow until I wake up. Getting up for even an 11 am service seems cruel and unusual punishment for a night owl trying to make a living in this city. I would often sleep through my alarm or tell myself God understands how tired I am and go back to sleep. I made a commitment to go every Sunday now. I sing louder. I laugh at Pastor Norm's jokes. I cry when the sermon seems to be directed just for me, but that's not all. I take a long shower when I get home from work the night before, even though it sometimes wakes up my boyfriend, or he needs in the bathroom to poop. I pray that God will wash away my sins so I'll be ready to receive the spiritual message that will be coming my way in church the next morning. I have a tattoo on my hip that serves as a reminder to surrender to God. I wear a cross around my neck or in my ears and every time I put them on I pray for more faith. And when God helped me with a conversation with my boyfriend that was really difficult, I took my friend Alex out for coffee. And in the near future I will be throwing myself and some church friends - and God - a dinner party. 

The rewards of spiritual discipline are amazing.

What does the Word have to say about this?

Read John 17:1-5. This is the night of the Last Supper. Jesus is telling his disciples what is about to happen and why. Then he prays for them. 

John 17:1, 4, 5

Father, the time as come... I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do. And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began. 

The assignment that Jesus got from God was a big one. His task was to show the people what God was like and then return to Him by being crucified, dying, on the cross, rising again, and then being lifted back up to Heaven. I'm sure I'm not the only one glad that that wasn't my assignment! How on earth did Jesus do that?

The simple, and obvious answer, is that it was easy for him because Jesus was the Son of God, but that's not completely true. When Jesus came to earth, he took human form. He suffered the same things that we have to suffer through in life. Jesus could feel pain. He probably caught the odd stomach virus or went days without food to eat. He was definitely mocked and taunted. He still had to sleep and pee and poop like we do. He felt happy and sad and angry and scared. He was human with the sole exception that he was without sin. He was our example on how to get our own missions from God accomplished. [We all have a mission, by the way.] Jesus couldn't just snap his fingers and make everything happen at once. Well, he could have, but we wouldn't have learned that way. Jesus had to demonstrate for us.

So what did Jesus do? How did he make it possible to know God, hear God, obey God? How did he resist temptation to just say, "F*** it. I'm hungry" and wave his magic hand to unveil a steaming hot plate of steak and potatoes?

Jesus practiced the same spiritual disciplines that I'm talking about here.

Quiet Time

Despite being busy, Jesus always made time to be alone with God. I remind you that Jesus was almost constantly being followed around by a crowd of people clamoring to have their ailments healed and asking endless questions. He started off his entire ministry by going off into the desert all by himself forty days. I don't know about you, but I don't think I've ever even spent 40 hours in my house by myself, let alone the desert. Jesus was consistently going off on his lonesome to pray. Read Luke 6:12-16.

Luke 6:12

One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. 

That was the night before Jesus picked his Twelve Apostles. When Jesus heard that John the Baptist had been killed, he went off in a boat by himself. He wasn't just trying to get away from humans - he wanted to be in a place where he could hear God better. When he was alone, he prayed, listened, and devoted himself to the Father, and when his solitude time was up, he went right back to his mission - healing, teaching, and forgiving people. It's not just about getting away from your whining son, your nagging mother-in-law, or that buddy that is driving you crazy - it's about giving God your undivided attention.

Simplicity

To put it simply (see what I did there?), Jesus didn't accumulate stuff. Clutter would have distracted him from his ministry and he advised his disciples to do the same. He told them to go out and spread the news that the Son of God had arrived to teach people how to change their lives. He told them not to weigh themselves down with material possessions or stay in fancy hotels; to be happy living modesty and to leave quietly when their message was not being well-received. 

Luke 9:3-5

"Take nothing for the journey - no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra tunic. Whatever house you enter, stay there until you leave that town. If people do not welcome you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave their town, as a testimony against them"

The disciplines listened and followed Jesus' example and were successful in their missions. They spread God's news and healed people all over the region. This was exactly what God had wanted them to do.

Service

Jesus was a humble man. Even though he was the Son of God, he still dedicated a large portion of his life to serving others. Read John 9:1-12

John 9:6

Having said this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man's eyes.

[Side note about this passage: Sometimes bad things happen in the world because of sin, but sin isn't always the reason. Next time you are crippled with the flu or watching your child tortured with chicken pox, pray for God to display his work. If anything, doesn't sickness make you feel so grateful for health after you are healed?]

Jesus didn't mind digging around in the dirt. Now read John 11:38-44. Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead for Mary and Martha. Read John 13:1-17.

John 13:15-17

I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. 

Jesus meant business. He stripped his clothes, wrapped a towel around his waist, and insisted on washing all every Apostles' feet. I may not be able to give a blind man back his eyesight. I certainly am not capable of raising a man from the dead. But Jesus showed me something I can do. I can roll up my sleeves and wash the gross, caked-on dirt of the feet of my fellow brethren. The world does not decide who is great and who isn't. We are all equal in God's eyes and should behave accordingly.

Confession

Throughout his ministry, Jesus stayed true to his assignment. He never doubted whether or not it was the right thing or whether he was doing it right. [Geez, that would be nice, hey?] On the eve of his crucifixion, however, Jesus grew depressed. One of his best friends was about to betray him. He was going to be nailed to the cross. He was the Son of God, yes, but wasn't there another way to do as God desired? Jesus knew there wasn't, but he didn't hide his feelings of doubt from his Father. Read Luke 22:39-46

Luke 22:42

"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done"

Dissect that statement with me:  if you are willing, take this cup from me - there's the doubt - yet - watch how God immediately steps in to take over - not my will, but yours be done - Jesus accepts his fate. Jesus knew what was right. Because of his confession, God was able to help Jesus find the determination to carry out God's plan to die for us to take the burden of all our sins so we could be forgiven and blessed. Wow. Thank God for that!

Worship

Every Sabbath, Jesus went to the temple to worship. And Jesus knew better than just to go and passively listen to the readings and the sermon. He wouldn't have dared to daydream or doodle. He actively listened. He participated. Heck, half the time he ended up taking over! Read Mark 1:21-28

Mark 1:22&27

The people were amazed at his teaching, because he taught them as one who had authority, not as the teachers of the law... The people were all so amazed that they asked each other, "What is this? A new teaching - and with authority! He even gives orders to evil* spirits and they obey him."

* Sometimes 'evil' in the Bible can also translate to 'unclean' 

Jesus spent that entire day in the synagogue. [After the destruction of the Jerusalem temples, the Jewish people preferred to worship in synagogues. After the resurrection, Christians began meeting there too, which is why synagogues and churches are so similar] Jesus blew the congregation away with the way he taught the Scriptures. Then he did something similar in Nazareth. Read Mark 4:1-20 and Isaiah 6:9&10. Or how about that time he blew everyone's mind by reading Isaiah the prophet's scroll and revealing that he was about to fulfill that prophecy?! Read Luke 4:16-30. It's so important for believers of Christ to come together to support and encourage each other in our journeys with God. Jesus knew that. The Jewish people began to trust Jesus because he "belonged". He was one of them.

If Jesus put all these things into practice - Quiet Time, Simplicity, Service, Confession, Worship - we should too.

Don't just do it because you're supposed to. You can't just add them to your schedule, do them mindlessly, and somehow attain a ticket into Heaven. You can't just go to church and say a prayer. We need to do these things full-heartedly, and if you do, you'll get to experience the same benefits that Jesus did. You'll get to:

• Experience being a Christian
• Change into a happier, more complete person
• Be freed from the weight of other's opinions and peer pressure
• Be closer to God
• Know what God's plan is for your life

We don't reap these benefits by just trying - God gives it to us through grace, just because he loves us. But we do have to prove to God that we are people of integrity and want to do right by him to receive that grace and we get it through spiritual discipline. 

So Check Yourself Out: Do you spend time alone every day, praying and writing in a journal and listening to God? Could you do this more often? Do you have a special place you go to do nothing? Do you have too much stuff? Is your To-Do list too long? Maybe it's time for a trip to the Salvation Army or start saying no to some commitments. Are you always nice? How often do you offer to help someone out? When you waver, who do you talk to? Do you confess your wrongdoings to God? Do you go to church every Sunday? Do you sing there? Do you participate or pray? Do you worship on your own?

Some disciplines are easier than others. And everyone struggles with a different combination. For me, and I think for a lot of other young city folk in this day-and-age, struggle with simplicity. I know I'm surrounded by stuff I don't need and filling my schedule to the max. I'm currently balancing 5 part-time jobs! I feel like I'm constantly getting rid of things and saying no and I hardly ever have money to buy new stuff, but it's never quite enough. My strongest suits are my service and worship disciplines. I genuinely love church (though I'll admit that occasionally my mind wanders during the sermon) and I'm always looking for new way to serve with my spiritual gifts. I usually don't find it hard to be nice to people. I pray often, but I'm usually do something else at the same time, like walking or driving or cleaning (don't worry - I don't close my eyes). I could definitely make time in my life to just sit and listen to God without distractions. It can be so embarrassing to admit when we've done something wrong. I know I can't hide from God, but sometimes I'm tempted to skip the confession and go straight to the part where I don't do it again. It really helps having friends in my community group that will talk through my struggles and temptations with me and encourage me to make right with them. 

As you reflect on this in your prayers tonight, I encourage you to go forward with joy. Spiritual discipline is not just one more thing you have to squeeze into your schedule. It's a good thing that is going to change your life for the better. If you get overwhelmed, pray that God will fill you with the same kind of excitement that you get when you get your haircut, or when you ride a horse for the first time, or just trying anything else that is cool for the first time. 

Here's your Spiritual Discipline PrepCheck:

• Tell a brother or sister in Christ, someone that you really respect, that this is an area of your life that you would like to work on. Ask them to pray for you and to hold you accountable by checking in on your progress every once and a while. Sharing your journey makes it so much more special. 
• Make sure your partner knows what is going on and ask for their support. 
• If you don't already have a journal, get one. If you're an artsy time, personalize it by decorating it with whatever you want. If that sounds like torture to you, a plain notebook will do just fine. Amazing things are going to start happening to you - you need somewhere to jot them down! Like when a prayer is answered or you have a great time during some service. Include pictures if you're into art or photography. If you are musical or literary, you may be inspired to write your own praise song or prayer. 
• Pray that you will become so spiritually disciplined that God will never feel further away from you than a breath. 

My partner is a non-believer. I just want to point that out because it rises a few challenges for me and maybe my experience will help those of you living with non-Christian parents or siblings and whatnot. I try not to make a big deal out of any of this. It's private - that is kind of the whole point. I don't need to announce 20x that I'm getting rid of a garbage bag of clothes to make room for God in my life. I just do it. It's not a matter of being sneaky, but to be honest, he probably doesn't miss the stuff anyway (or notice that it's gone for that matter...) My relationship with God is between Him and I, not Marty and I, so that gives me permission to develop it quietly. My hope is that Marty begins to notice the changes in me and that could possibly start conversation about what I'm doing and why, but all in due time. God works in miraculous ways. I don't need to involve Marty in my private time (he's not invited!) - I do it after he goes to bed or before he wakes up. I don't need to reschedule our time together. He doesn't need to know where I keep my prayer journal and I don't need to broadcast whenever I volunteer to do a favor for a church friend for free. When I screw up, he's not the person I tell - it's someone in my Community Group. And that's okay for now. 

I struggle with thinking this is just one more thing to add to my schedule so I try to think of my life as a tapestry. It takes many threads of different colors to make a tapestry. Spiritual discipline is just one more thread to weave into my everyday life. My hope is that one day soon it will feel as natural as eating, sleeping, showering, and texting my mom. I wouldn't go a day without eating and once I learn to truly treasure my quiet time, I won't dare to miss that either. I'd die before turning down a great dance opportunity. Soon I hope I'll feel the same about my services. I don't want this to be something I do. I want this to be something I live. Maybe at some point dance and acting won't seem as important to me because feeling close to God has become even more important than everything else. Everything I do is so much better when I do it through God. 

O God, 

I need your help again. Then again, when don't I need your help, huh? I've fallen weak in some of my spiritual disciplines. 

This week I'd like to focus on simplicity. I need your guidance pertaining to which job I need to let go of, which activities to pass on, and distinguishing between clutter and necessity. 

I struggle with diligence, comprehension, time, space, lack of opportunity, feeling alone, and feeling so distant from you sometimes; no matter how hard I try. 

There is one thing I know for sure, however, and that is that you are here with me. As I try to practice these disciplines in my life, you will help me become the person you want me to be. That, my Lord, sounds so incredibly wonderful - I implore you to make this so. 

I love you more than anything. Thank you for loving me even more than that. 

Amen

Being really close to God would be like...