I attended the service that morning at Christ Church Cathedral and then rushed over to Harbour to change out of my church clothes just in time for class. I was really nervous. What if I looked like an idiot? My mind and body were so out of "dance shape". 'At least it's Level 1,' I told myself. 'It's not going to be crazy.' I was mostly right - the routine we did wasn't insane or anything. It was just enough of a challenge for me that it made me give a mental note to myself to kick my own ass this summer and get back in shape by September. This class though, it did something more important that work me out and inspire me for the kids this summer. It reminded me about how much I love dance and how much I adore hip hop specifically. I love all forms of dance - don't get me wrong. But there is something special about hip hop that the other genres don't have. I love ballet and it's structure and elegance. I love tap, the mental challenges it brings, and the creativity required to come up with the endless possibilities of rhythms. I love contemporary because it feels so free and lets us leave our emotions on the dance floor, for everyone else to analyse. Hip hop though, it has everything. There is a certain grace to it. A fluidity of movements. But also a crispness - a sharp edge. It can go from smooth and elegant to hard-hitting and rough in less than a count of 8. It incorporates unity, precision, and teamwork as well as individuality and freestyle. Hip hop says "Come as you are." It doesn't care what color you are. If you are fat or skinny. If you have big boobs or smaller boobs. All styles are for everyone and there is a style for everyone. I go back and forth in my own confidence with this style. Sometimes I do a routine and think 'Hey I'm actually not bad. If I keep working there could be some potential here..." yet other times I think 'OH MY GAWD, who am I kidding? I am the most uncoordinated and whitest person that ever walked the planet!' To the latter thought - who cares? I enjoy it. It's fun. It's good for me. It makes me a heck of a lot happier than lifting weights at the gym does. I should keep doing it. So maybe I will never be pro. Oh well. There is no where to go but up from this.
My favorite thing about hip hop is that it makes me feel good about my body. In this case, I don't mean because it's a form of working out. This time I mean that hip hop is a celebration of the human body. Not unlike other dance forms, it tests and challenges what we are capable of, but I also feel my absolute sexiest when I'm dancing hip hop, which is unlike other dance forms. Maybe it's the attire - cool shoes, the mixture of tight and loose fitting clothes, hair having the option of being up or down, the encouragement of creative make up and jewelry... Anything goes really. There aren't any rules. When I'm having a down day, there is nothing worse than having to squeeze myself into a bodysuit and tights and slick my hair back into a bun. How unflattering, or so it feels to me on that particular day. Even on a good day, when I'm on my way to a cruise ship audition and put a little extra attention on my hair, make up, and dance attire and feel really pretty, my mood is immediately dashed when I walk into the room full of tall, skinny, gorgeous, flexible girls with long legs wearing crop tops and tiny shorts stretching and waiting their turn to dance. I have to catch myself from thinking negative thoughts. My boobs are not too big. I am not too short. I am fit. My hair looks fine. I never have to remind myself of these things in a hip hop class. I feel confident enough to wear a crop top and sweats some days and others I wear a baggy t-shirt with my super awesome hat that my ex used to hate me for wearing. It's all for fun. I don't get, and don't have the courage, to dress like that all the time. It's great to get it out of my system in class. One day I dream about having the confidence that I feel in hip hop class bleed into the rest of my life.
I've been doing some thinking and some research on the topic, however, and I've noticed a lot of negative stigma on the hip hop industry. Just play around on Youtube for a while and you will find tons of awful comments, especially on videos of young girls. Some users even go as far as to call them names like 'sluts' and 'whores' for dancing the way they do. This absolutely sickens me. Why are we not encouraging young women to find their individuality through hip hop? I feel that it is just as legitimate of a dance form as ballet. Haters of the hip hop community believe that hip hop and rap music leads to gangs and violence, drugs, sex and teenage pregnancies. I will not be naive and denote that sometimes the lyrics in hip hop music touch on some pretty taboo things, but I feel that immediately connecting the music to the lifestyle is not entirely accurate. I come from one of the most redneck towns in the northern hemisphere that is as country as it gets and it has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in Canada. There is hardly any rap music in site and most of the people that listen to it are not dancers. I know one dancer from the last 10 years that has gotten pregnant before graduation, and she had stopped dancing a few years before she got pregnant. So if rap music, hip hop dancers, and teen pregnancies aren't really linked in my hometown, I have a hard time believing that it really does anywhere else. If a child chooses to engage in gangs, or drugs, or sex - to assume that the decision was based solely on the suggestion of their music lyrics is ridiculous. I say the problems extend far beyond those of the words. And why do we nail down young hip hop dancers for their costumes? We put ballet on a pedestal because the costumes rarely show midriff, but it's been proven over and over that ballet and eating disorders ARE closely linked. In one study that I read, it stated that ballet students are seven times more likely to develop anorexia than regular high school students. Yet it seems to be the dance discipline encouraged most in society. Why is it considered so prestige?
This isn't supposed to be a rant or even a statement of facts or answers to any questions. It's more just to pose a thought. I keep being told that my opinions will change when I have a daughter of my own. I can't judge that now. Maybe they will. But, right now, as I stand, I like to think that I would encourage my daughter to pursue what makes her happy. If dancing to hip hop music in a crop top makes her feel confident about her body, I'm satisfied with that. If my daughter wants to pursue the continuous strive for perfection in the ballet world, I'm okay with that too. Then it becomes up to me, as a parent, to teach her the right morals - to raise her awareness and teach her the facts about things like eating disorders, the consequences of sex, the danger with gangs. And even if I teach her all I can, it's going to be up to her to listen and make the right decision. I don't think discouraging her from a fantastic creative outlet is a solution to any of the worlds problems.
This didn't come out as eloquently as I had hoped, but I think I got my point across. I found a niche and I'm gonna dance my little heart out.
You'll be a marvelous mother.
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