September/October

I haven't posted anything lately about my Happiness Project.

Inside of Maria's Taverna

My focus for September was work (go the extra mile). I figured that September would be the perfect month to do this since I was arriving back to Vancouver from Rossland and would be looking for a new job right away. I did concentrate on work for the whole month, but I didn't have specific resolutions. I arrived back in town on September 3rd after my birthday trip to Tofino and on September 4th I handed out 10 resumes. I handed out 10 more on September 5th. On September 6th, I was in the middle of handing out more when I got a phone call from Gelsy at Kitsilano Daily Kitchen asking me if I wanted to come in for an interview that afternoon. I went straight there and met Brian and got instant good vibes from everyone there. They offered me a trial shift for the following Monday (the 10th). While I was talking to Brian I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I got a voice mail from Lori at Maria's Taverna asking me to come in the following day (Friday the 7th) for a training shift. No interview, no trial. Just training and if I didn't suck slash everyone liked me, I would have the job. Since Daily seemed a little higher end, I was worried that I wouldn't end up getting the job after my trial shift, especially when they realized how little I know about wine, so I figured that doing the training shift at this other place first wouldn't hurt. And that was it. I ended up getting hired at both, so I do lunches at Maria's five days a week and then evenings at Daily three to five times a week. I spent the month of September being punctual, learning/training, asking questions, working as part of the Daily team and being my own manager at Maria's, and dressing appropriately for each setting. I like both of my jobs. I think that eventually I will just work at Daily full-time, but I can't consider that until I am a full-time server making tips. And it's kind of nice right now to be paying off some loans and whatnot. So I guess I get an A for Work-September.

Outside of Kitsilano Daily Kitchen

Now on to October, which is also almost done. This month my focus was family (building bridges). I have a little resentment and hurt that I've carried into my adult life from childhood and I've been especially focusing on letting that go. The past is the past, right? And I can't change who my family members are as people and I have to just accept them for who they are and the choices they make, even if it doesn't make sense to me or if it makes me angry, or if it's different from the philosophy in which I live my life. This is hard to word into a specific resolution because a lot of it is so internal. I've been trying to refocus my thoughts. Whenever I start to think something ill about a member of my family, I stop, take a deep breath, do a little shake (if I'm alone), and think of something positive about them instead - something they've taught me maybe, or something I'm thankful for about them. It's been helpful. There are still a lot of unsaid (and hurtful) thoughts up there floating around in my brain, but at least now I feel like there is a healthy flow happening and I feel less like they are a dormant bomb waiting to explode which the right trigger.

My physical resolutions to help me maintain healthy relationships with my family members were to call Mom and Dad once a week, which hasn't happened. I honestly can't afford (time or money) to talk to my Mom once a week because every phone call lasts over an hour. I call my dad every couple of days, but he picks up on average one in every four times, so I'm lucky if I talk to him once a month. I try to call other family members once in a while, but a lot of them are too busy to pick up the phone and/or call me back. I called my oldest nephew, Noah, on his birthday and left a message, but no one bothered to call me back to even say thank you for the good wishes. I'll keep trying to stay connected, of course, but it is a two-way street. I've got a large and complicated family, but if they don't want to be close with me, it's really their loss because I have a lot to offer as a member of this family. I said I was going to text my brother something at least once a week. I texted him on Thanksgiving and he said he missed me and stuff, so that was nice. I haven't texted him since though. I don't know what to say to be honest. He has made it quite clear to me that he doesn't want my sage advice on any life matter and he resents the way I live my life and thinks I judge the way he lives his (which I do, to be fair), and I assume he doesn't want to hear the little details of my life, which he would probably interpret as bragging anyway. I feel like the only things I could safely text him are funny little pictures or stories that I come across every once in a while, but those happen so scarcely and I'm always worried he'll be in a bad mood and not think its funny or take it the wrong way or something. I know I'm a weird person, but I don't want my little brother to think I'm a complete loser.

The only family that I have around physically is my niece, Meegan, who lives in Surrey with her boyfriend, Allen (which is the same name as my brother, Meegan's father, so don't get confused) and her two sons, Lyric and Saren. Lyric turned two in July and Saren was just born a couple of weeks ago and I haven't actually met him yet. Meegan has an older sister, Jacqueline, who is technically my niece as well, but she has never shown interest in having a relationship with me, despite my offers to be in her life. She lives in Surrey too, but I haven't seen her in probably 15 years. Meegan and I get along great though and I love that we have the relationship that we do. I want to make the commitment to have a "family day date" with them once a month. I want to be the awesome aunt to Lyric that takes him out to do fun stuff and have family dinners with the whole family. I'd even consider living with them one day and us really being a big family for a while. I had plans with them last Sunday but had to cancel to film a short. It'll happen soon though.

It just occurred to me now that working on my family tree every day would have been a great resolution for this month, but it's a little late to make it a monthly goal now. I'll have to find a way to incorporate more research into my life though. There is still so much missing on it and I should get as much information as I can about the family before some of the members pass on. What a cool keepsake it would be to have it all documented in some form.





Well that's it for this month. I'm sorry that it was a lot less organized than August's resolutions, but it will get better, I promise. Until next time, keep smiling - remember that you are in control of your own happiness!

xo Emily