How to Attain Self-Confidence: Step One

There are two main ways to achieve the feeling of self-confidence. 

1) Affirmation and positive thinking. 

2) Building competence by setting and achieving goals. This is no 5-minute fix. There is sometimes blockage that gets in the way of seeing our inner beauty and truest potential. We'll discuss those later. 

The Bad News: There is no quick fix to gaining self-confidence.

The Good News: As long as you have the real desire to do this, along with the dedication, determination, and focus to carry you through, building self-confidence is possible.  The best part about building self-confidence is that you will also build success, because your confidence will  be coming from real life achievements that you will have to remember for the rest of your life.

I have broken down the process into 10 steps and assignments. Do each of them at your own pace. 

Step One: Prepare for your journey. Get a notebook to record the process.

First assignment: Look back on your life so far and make a list of your 10 best achievements. One may be acing a test or exam, playing an important part on a team or in a play, producing good sales figures at work, making a difference in someone's life, or having an idea that ended up really helping your company - absolutely anything that you feel is a good accomplishment. This is your rough draft.

Now, turn that list into something special. Type it out and make it look official and important, or write it out on a poster and decorate it with glitter glue and stickers. Whatever you want to make it feel like it's your own and that it's important. Put it somewhere where you can look at it often and review it daily to remind yourself of the successes you've done. I put mine on my bedside table so I could look at it every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to bed.

March/April

April's focus, in honor of spring, was Simplify (Cleanliness). The resolutions were simple: Find 15 minutes every morning and every night to do some general tidy. I also tried to find the time once a week to tackle a bigger project I had been procrastinating.

I was fairly successful! I did at least one of the 15-minute segments, if not both, most days. My oh my, what a difference it made! I always started by doing the dishes and wiping down the counter and then I've been making my way around the kitchen, taking things off of shelves, wiping down the insides, and reorganizing. I'm not done yet, but it is certainly on it's way. I'm really bad for creating clutter areas, like cupboards and drawers and surfaces. Once I decide something has a home, I'm really awesome at keeping that area clean, but as soon as someone else messes it up, it becomes a magnet for my own stuff too - a dumping ground. Some mini-projects I tackled this month: cleaning off the top of the fridge, cleaning out/organizing the saran wrap/tin foil/etc drawer, cleaning out and organizing the tupperware cupboard (complete chaos!) and fixing the broken shelf in there, reorganizing some casserole dishes, the glassware, and under the kitchen sink (another disaster zone). I didn't manage to tackle the biggest and most procrastinated area of my home of all: the stairs to nowhere. It's an area in my house that "out of the way", a staircase that used to lead up to the second floor of the house but has since been dry-walled to make this a private suite. It has become my personal dumping ground. I swear I will get there though, and it's going to look fabulous. I also hung a couple pictures in the kitchen and took apart the leaning tower of Pisa of a structure in my bathroom - an over the toilet unit that had collapsed against the wall due to moisture. I managed to score some free skateboard decks from a local board shop that I am going to mount as shelves instead, as soon as my artist friend paints them for me. If this is a good habit that I can maintain for the rest of my life, it would be a very good thing...

On other cleaning news, I got a vacuum this month. A real, big girl vacuum. I'm officially a grown-up (not).

May is Money Month. A year and a half ago I was awesome with money. People were always coming to me for advice. After moving into Vancouver, I saw how well I was doing and started to "relax" a bit. Relaxing turned into slacking off which turned into a series of poor decision which eventually lead to my financial ruin. Whoops. Time to get back on track.

My resolutions for May include:

Make a budget
Find a better system for recording hours, wages, tips, and tip out.
Get a new day job
Spend less/Prioritize
Switch bank accounts to one with lower fees or switch banks altogether
Get a credit card

I do have some tips that I will post separately. I'll include my budget for everyone to see. Some would say it's personal, but I look at it as a tool that someone else could use for learning. I've been doing pretty well so far. I eat mostly at home (but could do better) and have stopped all unnecessary expenses. The two things I am struggling with: Netflix and my gym membership. Netflix is $10 a month and my gym is $40 and neither really fit into my budget. But since I've cut eating out from my budget, it's nice that my boyfriend and I can watch a show off of Netflix. And my gym... I'm having trouble viewing this as an unnecessary expense. It's health, right? My body is important. The thing is, I've allotted $50 to dance classes a month, but that isn't really enough to keep me fit. I can run, walk, and bike for free, but none of that is equivalent to weight lifting. I have to give 30 days notice to leave anyway. My $40 fee includes all the classes as well which I do take advantage off. I would only be paying $30/month if I signed a year contract but I always feel that as an actor I have to be ready to up and move at a moments notice, if I had to. I would hate to have to pay $120 just to get out of the contract. Maybe it's worth it.

What makes a Vancouverite?

I've been officially "back" in Vancouver for eights months now. For those of you that don't know, or are new to my blog, let me give you the abbreviated run down to where I come from:

Aug 1991 - Sept 2009: Fort St. John, BC
Sept 2009 - April 2011: Victoria, BC 
June 2011 - Aug 2011: Rossland, BC
Sept 2011 - March 2012: Maple Ridge, BC
March 2012 - Present: Vancouver, BC 

This does not include the time I spent in Rossland, Port Alberni, Shawnigan Lake, Kelowna, New York, or California, which could be considered extended vacations, continuation of studies, acting gigs, or temporary moves. 

So though when you add up the months I've had an official Vancouver address it equals 15, if you subtract the time I went away to Rossland, it totals 12 - therefore: Happy One Year Anniversary of Being a Vancouver Resident to me. 

But being a Vancouver resident does not make me a Vancouverite. 

So what defines a Vancouverite from a Vancouver citizen? I turn to Google for answers:

[urbandictionary] a person residing in Vancouver (okay, check)
[urbandictionary] the luluemon-clad, Starbucks-drinking, BMW-crashing, sexy Asian MILF version of the Martha Stewart personna (hmm...)
[urbandictionary] A former Torontonian/Calgarian/Montrealer (uhh... everybody is from somewhere. 39.6% of Vancouvers population were born outside Canada. So... there's that)

[tourismvancouver] You know you are a Vancouverite when:

• You wear polar fleece to a business meeting (what?)
• You walk by the Art Gallery and wonder where the belly-dancing lady is (again... what?)
• You own a mountain bike, a snowboard, and scuba equipment, even if you've only used them once (fair)
• You can pronounce Inukshuk properly and you know what TimBits are (Oo! Oo! Pick me!)
• You prefer espresso and biscotti over coffee and a donut (How about a latte and chocolate croissant?)
• You're just as likely to go to Dim Sum on a Sunday morning as a diner (mmm...)
• You live in less than 500 sq feet and couldn't be happier (I am quite satisfied with my 860)
• You own seasonal Gore-Tex pieces but not an umbrella (I had to look what Gore-Tex was)
• You wear jeans to the Vancouver Opera (not true. I went to Tea last night and everyone was dressed quite nicely!)
• You have at least one item of clothing made of hemp (sounds itchy)
• You know the Hot Buns guy at Wreck Beach (no but I know the pina colada freezie girl)
• You live within a three-block radius of five Starbucks (this has nothing to do with a person's character - this is just what anyone gets living in any city)
• You know the back route on the Grouse Grind (there's a back route?)
• You know at least ten (aspiring) actors (or 100... and hey! I resent that)
• You know what a Japa Dog is (knowing and eating are two separate things...)

[huffingtonpost] How to piss off a Vancouverite:

• Call us sore losers, bad hockey fans, or snobs (*rolls eyes*)
• Refer to yourself as a "hipster" OR make fun of "hipsters" when you are one (true) 
• Point out that it rains a lot (no shit...)
• Ignore umbrella etiquette (I love the rain)
• Ask us if we like "BC Bud" or do yoga (we aren't ALL blazing yogis)
• Smoke or litter in public (don't hate us for caring)
• Say Nickelback is from Vancouver, that your "from Vancouver" when you're not, or that the people are mean (c'mon people...)
• Complain about: the beaches, the traffic, the expense (ugh...)
• Be a douchebag on a bike (another ugh)
• Rollerblade the Seawall when you don't know how to do it (wait - there are people that do know?)
• Call it "No-Fun Couver" (I've never heard that...)

The above article is actually really awesome and you should all read it.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/kate-siobhan-havercroft/how-to-piss-off-vancouverite-vancouver_b_2920840.html



I should also note the several references that people from Toronto are "wannabe New Yorkers" that dress "gay", hate the outdoors, and like to take pictures of themselves. This reference has obviously come from someone that has never tried to walk down Granville St on a Friday night.


So am I a Vancouverite? I dunno. I live here. I love lululemon and fancy coffee and care about the environment, the way I look, and consider food to be a hobby on top of being a source of nutrition. I think this is the most beautiful city in the world and can't even fathom living anywhere else in all seriousness. On the other hand, I don't care about the Canucks (or really, hockey in general but if I must choose - Go Habs Go!). I don't get yoga, and every time I meet a vegetarian or fake celiac [people who refuse to eat gluten but aren't actually allergic] I want to punch them (I like you as a person... I just don't understand your choice). I shop at NoFrills because I need to save the money for my acting classes and any extra money I can spare at the end of the month goes into a jar that I use to treat myself in trying a new, trendy restaurant that probably specializes in local, organic products and BC wines.

When I left Rossland after my first summer there in 2011, I was sad to leave the little hippy town I had grown so fond of. I arrived in Maple Ridge and was disappointed to discover that Vancouver wasn't the thriving community I had cracked it up to me. Then I realized I was living in Maple Ridge. This ordeal was what prompted The Happiness Project - I wanted that blissful feeling back. When a friend in Kitsilano had a room open up in her house, I jumped at the chance. I never thought I'd be able to afford to live here, but here I am! I spent three months here before I had to go back to Rossland and that's when I discovered that Rossland wasn't the same without the group of people I had shared it with the first time. I missed Vancouver and now that I am back, I have no desire to leave again. Have I rediscovered that feeling of bliss that I felt sitting on the beach of Gyro Park in Trail? Yes, I have. The other day I was lying on a towel at Kitsilano Beach, reading a book in my bikini (in May!), using my iPod to drown out the obnoxious conversation between two Guidas (Gweeda? Gweedette? Whatever) and I had the thought, 'This is the life'. My life is certainly harder than it was a year and a half ago. I'm broke and I'm confused as to where my career is headed and whether anyone will ever want me as their wife, but somehow the energy in this city alone keeps me going. And I truly believe it takes all sorts to contribute to this place we call home. We need the Kitsilano snobs, the Main St hipsters, the Granville St FOBs and Guidos, the westside yogis, the eastside blazers, the UBC hockey bros... It's what makes Vancouver Vancouver. 

Until next time - this Vancouverite is signing out. 
Cheers.