On Self-Confidence

I personally believe that self-confidence is the most important attribution that a person could carry with them for the duration of their careers and their lives in general. It's crucial to becoming happy with the person you've become. I think back to situations throughout my life where I had to deal with a person who had low self-confidence. It wasn't enjoyable. They were nervous, fumbling, over-apologetic, and constantly needed my reassurance that what they were doing was right. Maybe it's because I'm in the world of performing arts, but I'm accustomed to being around people who have a heightened sense of self (or at least who pretend that they do). They are more likely to speak clearly, hold their head high, answer questions with assurance, and readily admit when they don't know something. They make me feel good too and inspire me to be more confident in myself. Confidence is vital to success. Becoming a confident person will draws people in. People love to work with someone who is confident in themselves because it inspires confidence in others, whether that be an audience, peers, bosses, customers, friends, whatever.

This is a topic that I'm very passionate. I used to want to make it a career actually - before I discovered acting. I was going to dedicate my life to being a motivational speaker who specialized in discussing self-esteem and self-confidence in young girls. I can't just let it go. You may see posts similar to these in the coming months as I hash out my views on media, bullying, and comparisons and what I think should be done about it. 

First of all, what does confidence look like?

Self-confidence is doing what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticize you for it, and being open-minded towards what other people may consider right, even if it's different from what you believe.

Self-confidence is being willing to take risks and go the extra mile for the things you are truly passionate about in life.

Self-confidence is learning from your mistakes and growing from them. 

Self-confidence is feeling good about the accomplishments you have achieved. 

Self-confidence is being able to properly digest the information people throw at you - accepting compliments graciously, listening to constructive criticism with an open mind and then deciding afterward what you want to do with it, and disregarding rude comments from people you don't care about. 

I encourage you all to find a confidence role model. Find someone in your life that portrays the kind of image you want to give off. Watch them.Study them. How do people react to their positive energy? How exactly do they portray that self-confidence you admire? What exactly to they do? If you are comfortable, you could even ask them how they learned to love themselves. They may have some awesome advice, or recommend a good book they read, or someone to talk to. Whatever they say - TRY. It may work for you too. Your role model is living proof that it is all possible. The most important thing is to keep trying different things until you find one that works for you. Maybe what you are currently doing right now isn't working, so it's time to move on to something different. Otherwise, you will be suck in this rut for the rest of your life. 

I do recognize that there are a lot of lines to cross here. Where does confidence turned into being conceited? And what happens when a heightened self-esteem is used to mask deeper issues? I don't have the answers. Let me think on it and if I think of something, I'll post about it. It's a tough balance between confidence and humbleness. And I dated this guy once that was constantly telling people how awesome and talented he was, but I knew that he secretly was very self-conscious and thought he was fat (he wasn't). His need for constant reassurance was actually exhausting and I had no idea how to "fix" it. I think it's something that has to come from the very core of the individual - they have to want to learn to love themselves. You can't love them for them. You can only love them for you. 

Besides, it's the 21st century. Nobody wants to be that co-dependent couple that have one joined personality. 

Love each other. Love yourself. Love your life and the world we live in. I know there's lots of tough stuff going on, but there really is beauty to be seen if you want to see it! Love your body. Love the city you live in. Love your job and your family and your friends. Love everything.