How to Do Holidays When You're Broke as @&!$

If you are as poor as I am, you probably recognize the roller coaster of emotions that ensues whenever society approaches a holiday. The anxiety, the guilt, the frustration. So here are my tips to how to get through this Easter (and next Christmas and Valentine's Day) without further damaging your already broken bank account:

1. Lay the groundwork by preaching to everyone the reason for the season. 

If you're even remotely religious, this is easy. Start being pretentious and frown on everyone who conforms to consumerism by dishing out cash to show their loved ones just how much they care. If you are agnostic, this is a great time to "try out" a certain philosophy. Connect with your Buddhist side and preach against materialism. Or, for you atheists, just pull out the "family" card. No one can argue with "[X] holiday is about spending time with the people you love"

2. Celebrate "family time" by suggesting a holiday decoration-making party (hosted by someone else, of course) 

Retro is so in these days. So bring some string and stale popcorn and let your family bring the fancy stuff. Those paper chain things made out of construction paper are always classy. Or it always means more when the Valentine is handmade anyway, right? Make sure you leave with more than what you brought. This is key. "Anyone want this basket of beautifully decorated eggs? Going once. Going tw- I'll take one for the team and give it a home" *stash in coat closet* Use ordinary things you already have but "holidify" them. Cut a Christmas tree out of construction paper and then "decorate" it on your fridge with your magnets. Place tealight candles in a heart-shape. Put out a bowl with eggs. Hang extra toques and mitts off the lampshade. A vase of fake flowers. Bring out your beach and picnic gear. Holiday mugs. Display your in season fruits and vegetables as a centerpiece. 

3. Get creative with your wrapping methods. 

That driver's ed manual you will never read again. Old tests. Newspaper. Clothing store bags. Grocery bags. Think outside the box, literally. Doodles with Sharpie personalize any gift. What you can't make or find around your house, get at the dollar store. 

4. Enjoy city-funded activities

Take advantage of the free activities going on in your community that your taxes paid for anyway. Google "free [insert holiday] activities [insert your city]" and it will come up with loads of ideas. Free ice skating, parades, Easter egg hunts, festivals, fireworks, free admission to certain exhibits and attractions, outdoor movies, train/sleigh/buggie rides, community socials, and more! Also be sure to check your local newspaper and community and recreation center's website. 

5. Winter cleaning

This one is specifically for Christmas as it tends to be the most expensive holiday of them all. Instead of doing spring cleaning, do it at the end of October or beginning of November. Sell anything of value that you don't want or use anymore and then put the extra cash towards your gift fund. Donate the leftovers. Not only do you obtain a few bucks, but you also achieve less clutter and more room for the new stuff you are going to be given. 

6. The gift of time...

This one can go two ways. If you honestly don't want to receive anything (whether because you don't have any more room in your house, you just can't think of anything you want, or you're family is just full of shitty gift givers), make a speech about how it would mean the world to you if instead of gifts this year if you all did something together for someone else. Make sure you make them feel really guilty about being so materialistic. Then pick an activity to do together for an hour: pick up garbage, do a tap dance for an old person, or pet some orphans. Or give everyone a nice card and say that instead of gifts this year, you made a donation to X organization in their name. But then don't give the organization money. Volunteer your time instead and then just say you gave money... No one will know the difference. 

7. Actual gift ideas

• Offer to do something for the person, like a massage, housecleaning, babysitting, or an uninterrupted afternoon with you where you leave your phone and computer at home and where they get to pick how the time is spent (moms, grandmas, and little siblings will love that one).
• Pick an activity that is cheap and bring that person along. Then say something cheesy like "I'm giving you a memory/experience/life and that is the greatest gift a person can give" Ideas: Picnics, Tuesday matinee movies (and sneak in your own snacks, House hunting (going to real estate open houses), Playgroung, At-home spa day, Garage saling, A scrapbooking class/workshop at a community centre, Make a time capsule, Go for a walk, Look at the stars, Pick berries, apples, corn, or pumpkins, Work out, Go geocaching, Attend a festival, Gardening, Day trip or quick road trip, Build something or get something from the thrift store and give it a makeover, Build a snowman, scarecrow, or birdfeeder, DIY photo shoot, the Beach, Flea market, Farmers market, Cook dinner together, Museums, Flower gardens, Playing basketball in the park, A pizza or fondue or wings or cookie making competition showdown, Winery or brewery tour...
• Pick out a cheap gift from a second-hand store based off of nostalgia and call it retro. Board games you used to play as kids, Goosebumps books, 80s workout DVDs, or a movie you haven't seen in forever.
• Make your own gifts, of course. 


• Mass produce a batch of jam, pickled beans, tomato sauce, or something like that. 
• Buy a 26 of liquor, infuse it with something cool, like Skittles, Jolly Ranchers, Lychees, or Bacon, and then pour it into smaller bottles. 
• Fucking knit something
• Photo album, Picture frame, or frame something other than a picture, like a movie ticket stub, a plane ticket, an ultrasound, or a newspaper clipping. 
• Swants, if you have a ridiculous brother or boyfriend who would wear them
• Baking
• Compile your favorite recipes into a cookbook
• Mixed CDs
• Inspirational art - I call it inspirational because I can't really draw worth shit... So instead I write inspirational quotes in really big letters. Good on ya if talent actually comes out your finger tips
• Write a nice letter, make some origami, homemade Valentines or cards, a jar of hearts (or eggs or stars) with things written on each (Reason why you love them, a joke, an inspirational quote, etc)
• Bath products
• Buy a big bottle of bubble bath and split it into smaller bottles. Buy a big box of chocolates and then wrap 3 or 4 into smaller, fancy bags. Then give a bottle of bubble bath, bag of chocolate, and a book or magazine to each lady in the family. A night of relaxation! Books could be regifted ones you've already read, from the thrift store, or new. 
• Buy 3 DVDs from the cheap bin at Walmart, a box of popcorn, and a tub of sour keys. Give a couple a DVD, a bag of popcorn, and 1/3 of the sour keys. Repeat for 2 more couples. 
• If you are camera-savvy, offer to do a family photo shoot
• A "nice" version of something simple, but used daily. Like a gourmet bag of coffee or tea, honey or jam, a letter opener, ear buds, pen, notepad, mug, shampoo, travel mug, water bottle, hair brush, etc
• Buy something for the whole family and give it to your parents, like a fondue kit, a tent, or a family
  
  pass to the Aquarium. Everyone will benefit from it whenever the family can get together. 
• Search "cheap [insert holiday] gifts" on Amazon and Etsy. It's actually full of stuff that is both cool and cheap. And I'm actually talking only-a-couple-bucks-cheap. 

Happy Holidays everyone!

What I *Wish* I Could Buy My Family For Christmas

With the Christmas season upon us, I'm sure I'm not the only one with the constant internal gift-brainstorming monologue running through my head. We need to find the perfect gift for each person on our list and so so so much thought goes into that selection. Debatably even too much thought. As a poor actor I have to budget all year to make sure I have that little extra money around this time, so I have cost to take into account. I don't mind splurging on a couple special people if the perfect gift presents itself to me, but even that is "within reason". Then there is the practicality of bringing it on the plane with me or sending it via Canada Post. At last there is each individuals WANTS vs their NEEDS to consider. Something that no one else in their life is going to think of and something that they won't go out and buy themselves. It has to be special. It has to be something only you would buy them. It has to create happy thoughts and memories and evoke gratitude. Something they will use and cherish forever... Where does one even start? 

Most years the right things just seem to jump out at me off the shelves. I consider myself a pretty good gift giver as I usually do end up with a really great gift for everyone. But this year feels a little different. Physical items aren't jumping out at me but instead I have the strong desire to give my family members things that cannot be put in boxes. 

It first occurred to me while doing some daily devotions over a morning tea. It was only beginning of November, but the annual gift monologue had already planted its seeds. I managed to shut it off for a half an hour while I made breakfast and then sat down with my Bible, turning to Galatians, one of my favorite books. And I came across this:

"But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law" - Galatians 5:22-23

As the month continued on, this verse only grew more prominent in my mind. That's what I wish I could wrap up for the people I love. These metaphysical things that would theoretically guide them through the rest of their lives. The perfect gifts - lasting, special, needed. And my gifts have escalated beyond just the fruits of the holy spirit. They include things like self-awareness, pride, motivation, etc and I've picked the perfect "concept" for each loved one. 

If only I really could purchase these ideas for them. 

Here it is. My Christmas Shopping List for 2012. 

We'll start with the little ones.

My great nephews, Lyric and Saren - To them, I would give the gifts of Understanding and Empathy as they grow from babies and toddlers to children and then little people and then finally enter the world of adulthood with the knowledge that everyone is trying the best they can with what they have and what they know. 

To my nephews, Clay, Tye, Noah, and Colby, I give Respect, Cooperation, Loyalty, and Kindness to aide them in their ascents to teenage and adulthood. Though it's sometimes hard to conceive that these faces will one day be husbands and fathers to some lucky women, those days are not that far away in the grand scheme of things. As brothers, they can accomplish anything with cooperation and loyalty and from there I wish  that they grow into young men who apply that same respect and kindness they gave their peers for many years to their future lovers. 

To my nieces, Jacqueline, Meegan, Jessee, and Stephanie - Passion, Love, Dignity, Pride, Beauty. I believe that finding one's passion is enough motivation and drive to take a person to the very end of the earth and back. To love and be loved is one of the most powerful human abilities known to the universe. Be proud of who you are and where you come from and use that as motivation to take care of your bodies. You only get one, remember. You are all already so beautiful - inside and out - and my wish is that everyone you encounter in your life can see it like I do. 

To my sisters, Brenda, Jody, and Stacy - Joy, Patience, Appreciation. I wish that the rough patches of life be subsided with a soft voice and a gentle touch so when you look back on the memories of your children, only the positive ones matter and the joy and happiness of those memories will carry you through the rest of your years. You deserve appreciation for everything that you do as moms, but I would also grant you appreciation for the present. Time flies and we forget to cherish each moment, even the ones that are not so nice - because they will all be missed when it's all over. 

To my brothers Allen, Kevin, and Ray - Security, Assurance, Self-Control. My hope for you is that you are assured about the respectable men I look up to you as. You have created great role models and a high standard for me while dating and looking for a man that someday I will give my entire life to. I have watched how you have provided and cared for your families for almost as long as I have been alive. Your wives are lucky to have you as husbands and your children are lucky to have you as fathers. I hope you feel as secure as you seem and that you continue to put the importance things at the forefront of your lives.

To Ryan - Purpose and Integrity. To find a passion, something that motivates you. Something to live for. The reason why you were put on this earth. And to discover how satisfying it is to do the right things for the right reasons.

For Mom, I want to give something physical that possesses an omniscient power. I would like to give her an eraser to permanently erase all the hurt, mistakes, heartbreak, and grudges from the past. Courage to learn and move on from every challenge that life throws at her. Independence and the Assurance of knowing that she doesn't need anyone else to complete who she is as a person.

For Dad, Time. Time to play. More time spent doing things he loves with people he loves and less time working. The days are long, but the years are short. I was blessed to have him as a father, even if I did come along a little later in his life and my only hope is that he will get to walk me down the aisle and meet my children and watch them grow up and graduate from high school, just like he did with my brothers and sister and their children.

And lastly, for my grandparents, Forgiveness and Faithfulness. They were married for 25 years, then divorced for 25, and have been remarried for about 10 again. They have a story unlike any other that needs to be embraced. Past hurts need to be forgiven so that they can remain each other's one and only. It's a love story worth holding on to.

These are not things I can award to another person. There are only two beings that can endow a person with these things - oneself and God. Therefore, I will be praying for my family this Christmas. I will be praying that they feel the fortune I have felt to be a part of this family all of my 21 years. That they feel loved and are filled with joy not just this Christmas season but for the rest of all time to come.

Merry Christmas everyone. And remember the reason for the season. I love you all.