How to Do Holidays When You're Broke as @&!$

If you are as poor as I am, you probably recognize the roller coaster of emotions that ensues whenever society approaches a holiday. The anxiety, the guilt, the frustration. So here are my tips to how to get through this Easter (and next Christmas and Valentine's Day) without further damaging your already broken bank account:

1. Lay the groundwork by preaching to everyone the reason for the season. 

If you're even remotely religious, this is easy. Start being pretentious and frown on everyone who conforms to consumerism by dishing out cash to show their loved ones just how much they care. If you are agnostic, this is a great time to "try out" a certain philosophy. Connect with your Buddhist side and preach against materialism. Or, for you atheists, just pull out the "family" card. No one can argue with "[X] holiday is about spending time with the people you love"

2. Celebrate "family time" by suggesting a holiday decoration-making party (hosted by someone else, of course) 

Retro is so in these days. So bring some string and stale popcorn and let your family bring the fancy stuff. Those paper chain things made out of construction paper are always classy. Or it always means more when the Valentine is handmade anyway, right? Make sure you leave with more than what you brought. This is key. "Anyone want this basket of beautifully decorated eggs? Going once. Going tw- I'll take one for the team and give it a home" *stash in coat closet* Use ordinary things you already have but "holidify" them. Cut a Christmas tree out of construction paper and then "decorate" it on your fridge with your magnets. Place tealight candles in a heart-shape. Put out a bowl with eggs. Hang extra toques and mitts off the lampshade. A vase of fake flowers. Bring out your beach and picnic gear. Holiday mugs. Display your in season fruits and vegetables as a centerpiece. 

3. Get creative with your wrapping methods. 

That driver's ed manual you will never read again. Old tests. Newspaper. Clothing store bags. Grocery bags. Think outside the box, literally. Doodles with Sharpie personalize any gift. What you can't make or find around your house, get at the dollar store. 

4. Enjoy city-funded activities

Take advantage of the free activities going on in your community that your taxes paid for anyway. Google "free [insert holiday] activities [insert your city]" and it will come up with loads of ideas. Free ice skating, parades, Easter egg hunts, festivals, fireworks, free admission to certain exhibits and attractions, outdoor movies, train/sleigh/buggie rides, community socials, and more! Also be sure to check your local newspaper and community and recreation center's website. 

5. Winter cleaning

This one is specifically for Christmas as it tends to be the most expensive holiday of them all. Instead of doing spring cleaning, do it at the end of October or beginning of November. Sell anything of value that you don't want or use anymore and then put the extra cash towards your gift fund. Donate the leftovers. Not only do you obtain a few bucks, but you also achieve less clutter and more room for the new stuff you are going to be given. 

6. The gift of time...

This one can go two ways. If you honestly don't want to receive anything (whether because you don't have any more room in your house, you just can't think of anything you want, or you're family is just full of shitty gift givers), make a speech about how it would mean the world to you if instead of gifts this year if you all did something together for someone else. Make sure you make them feel really guilty about being so materialistic. Then pick an activity to do together for an hour: pick up garbage, do a tap dance for an old person, or pet some orphans. Or give everyone a nice card and say that instead of gifts this year, you made a donation to X organization in their name. But then don't give the organization money. Volunteer your time instead and then just say you gave money... No one will know the difference. 

7. Actual gift ideas

• Offer to do something for the person, like a massage, housecleaning, babysitting, or an uninterrupted afternoon with you where you leave your phone and computer at home and where they get to pick how the time is spent (moms, grandmas, and little siblings will love that one).
• Pick an activity that is cheap and bring that person along. Then say something cheesy like "I'm giving you a memory/experience/life and that is the greatest gift a person can give" Ideas: Picnics, Tuesday matinee movies (and sneak in your own snacks, House hunting (going to real estate open houses), Playgroung, At-home spa day, Garage saling, A scrapbooking class/workshop at a community centre, Make a time capsule, Go for a walk, Look at the stars, Pick berries, apples, corn, or pumpkins, Work out, Go geocaching, Attend a festival, Gardening, Day trip or quick road trip, Build something or get something from the thrift store and give it a makeover, Build a snowman, scarecrow, or birdfeeder, DIY photo shoot, the Beach, Flea market, Farmers market, Cook dinner together, Museums, Flower gardens, Playing basketball in the park, A pizza or fondue or wings or cookie making competition showdown, Winery or brewery tour...
• Pick out a cheap gift from a second-hand store based off of nostalgia and call it retro. Board games you used to play as kids, Goosebumps books, 80s workout DVDs, or a movie you haven't seen in forever.
• Make your own gifts, of course. 


• Mass produce a batch of jam, pickled beans, tomato sauce, or something like that. 
• Buy a 26 of liquor, infuse it with something cool, like Skittles, Jolly Ranchers, Lychees, or Bacon, and then pour it into smaller bottles. 
• Fucking knit something
• Photo album, Picture frame, or frame something other than a picture, like a movie ticket stub, a plane ticket, an ultrasound, or a newspaper clipping. 
• Swants, if you have a ridiculous brother or boyfriend who would wear them
• Baking
• Compile your favorite recipes into a cookbook
• Mixed CDs
• Inspirational art - I call it inspirational because I can't really draw worth shit... So instead I write inspirational quotes in really big letters. Good on ya if talent actually comes out your finger tips
• Write a nice letter, make some origami, homemade Valentines or cards, a jar of hearts (or eggs or stars) with things written on each (Reason why you love them, a joke, an inspirational quote, etc)
• Bath products
• Buy a big bottle of bubble bath and split it into smaller bottles. Buy a big box of chocolates and then wrap 3 or 4 into smaller, fancy bags. Then give a bottle of bubble bath, bag of chocolate, and a book or magazine to each lady in the family. A night of relaxation! Books could be regifted ones you've already read, from the thrift store, or new. 
• Buy 3 DVDs from the cheap bin at Walmart, a box of popcorn, and a tub of sour keys. Give a couple a DVD, a bag of popcorn, and 1/3 of the sour keys. Repeat for 2 more couples. 
• If you are camera-savvy, offer to do a family photo shoot
• A "nice" version of something simple, but used daily. Like a gourmet bag of coffee or tea, honey or jam, a letter opener, ear buds, pen, notepad, mug, shampoo, travel mug, water bottle, hair brush, etc
• Buy something for the whole family and give it to your parents, like a fondue kit, a tent, or a family
  
  pass to the Aquarium. Everyone will benefit from it whenever the family can get together. 
• Search "cheap [insert holiday] gifts" on Amazon and Etsy. It's actually full of stuff that is both cool and cheap. And I'm actually talking only-a-couple-bucks-cheap. 

Happy Holidays everyone!

September/October

I haven't posted anything lately about my Happiness Project.

Inside of Maria's Taverna

My focus for September was work (go the extra mile). I figured that September would be the perfect month to do this since I was arriving back to Vancouver from Rossland and would be looking for a new job right away. I did concentrate on work for the whole month, but I didn't have specific resolutions. I arrived back in town on September 3rd after my birthday trip to Tofino and on September 4th I handed out 10 resumes. I handed out 10 more on September 5th. On September 6th, I was in the middle of handing out more when I got a phone call from Gelsy at Kitsilano Daily Kitchen asking me if I wanted to come in for an interview that afternoon. I went straight there and met Brian and got instant good vibes from everyone there. They offered me a trial shift for the following Monday (the 10th). While I was talking to Brian I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I got a voice mail from Lori at Maria's Taverna asking me to come in the following day (Friday the 7th) for a training shift. No interview, no trial. Just training and if I didn't suck slash everyone liked me, I would have the job. Since Daily seemed a little higher end, I was worried that I wouldn't end up getting the job after my trial shift, especially when they realized how little I know about wine, so I figured that doing the training shift at this other place first wouldn't hurt. And that was it. I ended up getting hired at both, so I do lunches at Maria's five days a week and then evenings at Daily three to five times a week. I spent the month of September being punctual, learning/training, asking questions, working as part of the Daily team and being my own manager at Maria's, and dressing appropriately for each setting. I like both of my jobs. I think that eventually I will just work at Daily full-time, but I can't consider that until I am a full-time server making tips. And it's kind of nice right now to be paying off some loans and whatnot. So I guess I get an A for Work-September.

Outside of Kitsilano Daily Kitchen

Now on to October, which is also almost done. This month my focus was family (building bridges). I have a little resentment and hurt that I've carried into my adult life from childhood and I've been especially focusing on letting that go. The past is the past, right? And I can't change who my family members are as people and I have to just accept them for who they are and the choices they make, even if it doesn't make sense to me or if it makes me angry, or if it's different from the philosophy in which I live my life. This is hard to word into a specific resolution because a lot of it is so internal. I've been trying to refocus my thoughts. Whenever I start to think something ill about a member of my family, I stop, take a deep breath, do a little shake (if I'm alone), and think of something positive about them instead - something they've taught me maybe, or something I'm thankful for about them. It's been helpful. There are still a lot of unsaid (and hurtful) thoughts up there floating around in my brain, but at least now I feel like there is a healthy flow happening and I feel less like they are a dormant bomb waiting to explode which the right trigger.

My physical resolutions to help me maintain healthy relationships with my family members were to call Mom and Dad once a week, which hasn't happened. I honestly can't afford (time or money) to talk to my Mom once a week because every phone call lasts over an hour. I call my dad every couple of days, but he picks up on average one in every four times, so I'm lucky if I talk to him once a month. I try to call other family members once in a while, but a lot of them are too busy to pick up the phone and/or call me back. I called my oldest nephew, Noah, on his birthday and left a message, but no one bothered to call me back to even say thank you for the good wishes. I'll keep trying to stay connected, of course, but it is a two-way street. I've got a large and complicated family, but if they don't want to be close with me, it's really their loss because I have a lot to offer as a member of this family. I said I was going to text my brother something at least once a week. I texted him on Thanksgiving and he said he missed me and stuff, so that was nice. I haven't texted him since though. I don't know what to say to be honest. He has made it quite clear to me that he doesn't want my sage advice on any life matter and he resents the way I live my life and thinks I judge the way he lives his (which I do, to be fair), and I assume he doesn't want to hear the little details of my life, which he would probably interpret as bragging anyway. I feel like the only things I could safely text him are funny little pictures or stories that I come across every once in a while, but those happen so scarcely and I'm always worried he'll be in a bad mood and not think its funny or take it the wrong way or something. I know I'm a weird person, but I don't want my little brother to think I'm a complete loser.

The only family that I have around physically is my niece, Meegan, who lives in Surrey with her boyfriend, Allen (which is the same name as my brother, Meegan's father, so don't get confused) and her two sons, Lyric and Saren. Lyric turned two in July and Saren was just born a couple of weeks ago and I haven't actually met him yet. Meegan has an older sister, Jacqueline, who is technically my niece as well, but she has never shown interest in having a relationship with me, despite my offers to be in her life. She lives in Surrey too, but I haven't seen her in probably 15 years. Meegan and I get along great though and I love that we have the relationship that we do. I want to make the commitment to have a "family day date" with them once a month. I want to be the awesome aunt to Lyric that takes him out to do fun stuff and have family dinners with the whole family. I'd even consider living with them one day and us really being a big family for a while. I had plans with them last Sunday but had to cancel to film a short. It'll happen soon though.

It just occurred to me now that working on my family tree every day would have been a great resolution for this month, but it's a little late to make it a monthly goal now. I'll have to find a way to incorporate more research into my life though. There is still so much missing on it and I should get as much information as I can about the family before some of the members pass on. What a cool keepsake it would be to have it all documented in some form.





Well that's it for this month. I'm sorry that it was a lot less organized than August's resolutions, but it will get better, I promise. Until next time, keep smiling - remember that you are in control of your own happiness!

xo Emily