How to Attain Self-Confidence: Step Two

Step Two:

Do a S.W.O.T. Analysis. 

Divide your page into 4 equal sized boxes. In each box, ask yourself the following questions. 

Strengths	Weaknesses
Opportunities	Threats

Strengths

What do you have that other people don't have? (any advantages you have over others. Ex: skills, certifications, education, connections, etc)

What do you do better than anyone else? What do you do well in general?

What personal resources can you access? What unique resources can you draw on?

What do other people see as your strengths?

Which of your achievements are you the most proud of? 

What values do you believe in that others fail to exhibit?

Are you part of a network or group that no one else is involved in? If you are, what connections do you have because of that? What influential people do you know because of that?

Consider this from your own point of view and from the point of view of those around you. Don't be modest or shy. Be objective and don't be afraid to "float your own boat".

If you are having difficulty, start writing down some personal characteristics. Some of them will be strengths.

Weaknesses

What tasks do you usually avoid because you don't feel confident doing them?

What do the people around you see as your weaknesses?

Are you completely confident in your education and skills training? If not, where are you weakest?

What are you negative work habits? (Ex: Are you often late or running behind? Disorganized? Do you get upset or angry easily? Are you poor at handling stressful situation, or stress in general?) 

Do you have personality traits that hold you back? (Ex: Fear of public speaking)

Again, consider this from a personal/internal perspective, as well as an external perspective. Do other people see weaknesses that you don't see? Are you constantly being outperformed in certain areas? Be honest and realistic. It's best to face this stuff as soon as possible. Spend some time thinking, praying, or meditating on your weaknesses. How do you feel about them? Are you okay with those being your weak points or do you want to do something to change them? 

Opportunities 

What new technologies can help you? Can you get help from those around you? What about the internet? How can you use it to your advantage? What people can you create connections with that you couldn't before?

Is your world growing? Is your industry or career field? How's the current market? How can you take advantage of this?

Do you  have a network, or group, of people to help you? Do you have someone that offers you good advice?

What trends do you see happening around you and how can you use them to help you?

What trends do you see in your world? How can you take advantage of them?

Are any of the people around you failing to do something important? Can you take advantage of their mistakes and step up to the job?

Is there a position or need open that you could fill?

Do you constantly hear complaints about the same things over and over? Could you fix them? Could you offer a solution?

Look for opportunities:

- Networks, classes, conferences, groups, clubs

- Taking up an offer to gain new experience or learn new skills or expand your old ones whenever you can.  

Go back and look at your strengths. Do they open any opportunities?

Now look at your weaknesses. Could you open up more opportunities by eliminating some of those weaknesses? 

Threats

What obstacles are you currently facing? What is preventing you from being the person you want to be or from getting what you want or where you want out of your life?

Is there anyone competing with you for what you want?

Is there something major in your life changing?

Is there someone or something threatening to replace you or something that you do? (Like a new invention taking over your job or a person trying to take your place in your circle of friends or in your family)

Could any of your weaknesses lead to threats?

Here is my Personal SWOT Analysis to use as an example:

Strengths I'm very creative, open, and friendly. People like working with me because I present lots of different ideas, but I am also open to hearing all of their ideas too.  I am not afraid to admit when I don't understand something and I ask lots of questions to solidify what is being asked of me. I am very dedicated and passionate and I pour myself into everything that I do. I'm always determined to make everything the best I can. I'm a really hard worker.  I'm a fast typer and am pretty good at looking things up online quickly.  I speak English fluently and can communicate well in French. I am certified in Levels I & II in American Sign Language. I have my Serving It Right certification to serve alcohol and my Food Safe Level I to safely work in a restaurant-like setting. I can sing, dance, and act and have professional training and experience in all three areas. I can play the piano a little bit and can read music well. I know my history and I can improvise, tell stories, understand film terms, stage fight with or without swords, and understand the nature of the performing arts business. One of the achievements that I am most proud of is winning the Runner-Up for Highest Achiever award in my dance company.  I'm a fast learner.  I graduated from high school with Honors and have an Enriched Certificate in Performing Arts and a Certificate in Playwriting from one of the best musical theater school in Canada.  Through school and dance, I have made connections with professionals all over the world.  I fight for what I want and believe in.  I'm a good writer

Weaknesses  I avoid calling people because I don't like talking on the phone and feel embarrassed.   I avoid volunteering to do things and trying things first because I'm afraid of what people will think if I mess up.  I don't always apply corrections well. I lack confidence in my work. I am tense and have trouble relaxing. I am cautious and don't take enough risks. I am forgetful. I know I am talented, but I still often feel as if I am not good enough. I second guess my abilities at school and in my training because I feel like so many more people are more talented than I am and sometimes I wonder if I deserve to be there or if I belong there at all.  It makes me feel good to think that I got accepted into Canada's best theatre school, but when I got turned down for the second year program, it really made me second guess everything. I've been taught by the best, so if I can't make it there, sometimes I wonder if I will be able to make it at all.  I get frustrated easily. I can be disorganized at times. I often procrastinate and sometimes run late or don't allow enough time. I talk too much. I'm afraid of failure.

Opportunities The internet and social media can be used to an advantage I look younger than I am, which is an advantage for playing younger characters while still having the maturity of a professional adult.  I know lots of professional actors that can give me advice and guidance to help me make it in my career field. I also have a great group of talented performer friends who are off doing professional gigs. They are available for questions and recommendations. I have post-secondary training. Standing up for what I believe in can attract positive attention and create communities of people who stand together for the same cause.  I am passionate about what I do.

Threats  Competition is my biggest obstacle. My biggest challenge is being confident in myself and being nervous. I worry too much and try too hard sometimes. I'm not as strong of a singer as some and I'm not the best dancer, which lowers my confidence, and creates tension and doubt inside of my body. Everyone I know is competing with me for jobs and such - not just as a performer, but for all the jobs.   If I don't improve any of my weaknesses, it could cause me to get bad recommendations and reviews, which will mean trouble getting jobs.

How to Attain Self-Confidence: Step One

There are two main ways to achieve the feeling of self-confidence. 

1) Affirmation and positive thinking. 

2) Building competence by setting and achieving goals. This is no 5-minute fix. There is sometimes blockage that gets in the way of seeing our inner beauty and truest potential. We'll discuss those later. 

The Bad News: There is no quick fix to gaining self-confidence.

The Good News: As long as you have the real desire to do this, along with the dedication, determination, and focus to carry you through, building self-confidence is possible.  The best part about building self-confidence is that you will also build success, because your confidence will  be coming from real life achievements that you will have to remember for the rest of your life.

I have broken down the process into 10 steps and assignments. Do each of them at your own pace. 

Step One: Prepare for your journey. Get a notebook to record the process.

First assignment: Look back on your life so far and make a list of your 10 best achievements. One may be acing a test or exam, playing an important part on a team or in a play, producing good sales figures at work, making a difference in someone's life, or having an idea that ended up really helping your company - absolutely anything that you feel is a good accomplishment. This is your rough draft.

Now, turn that list into something special. Type it out and make it look official and important, or write it out on a poster and decorate it with glitter glue and stickers. Whatever you want to make it feel like it's your own and that it's important. Put it somewhere where you can look at it often and review it daily to remind yourself of the successes you've done. I put mine on my bedside table so I could look at it every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to bed.

What is Self-Confidence?

Time for a self-evaluation.  

Do you ever: 

Let what other people think affect what you say, how you act, or what you do?

Avoid taking risks because they are out of your comfort zone and you are scared of failing?

Try to cover up your mistakes or problems before anyone notices them?

Applaud your own virtues out loud? Seek approval of other people by mentioning a good deed you did?

Dismiss compliments? Eg. "I like your hair." "Oh it's nothing. Anyone could do it." or "Yours is better!"

Compare yourself to other people, celebrities, etc?

Let something you read in a magazine or heard on TV affect how you act or dress?

Think negative thoughts about yourself because of something that someone said?

We are all human, but if you answered 'yes' to any of these, you may want to consider drawing some attention to these areas of your life. We all have our moments, but if you find yourself in moments like those weekly, follow this blog. I've come up with a series of suggestions on how to raise your self-confidence without looking like a prick. Stay tuned for these posts. 

What exactly is "self-confidence"? Yesterday I discussed what I think it looks like, but here is the actual definition:

Self-Confidence has two contributors: Self-Efficacy and Self-Esteem. Self-Efficacy is gained when we see ourselves mastering skills and accomplishing goals that matter to us. Having this kind of confidence assures us that, if we work hard and are willing to learn in one particular area, we will succeed. It also helps us deal with and accept difficult challenges and helps us to keep going and pushing forward when we encounter setbacks. Self-Esteem is a more general sense that overlaps with this. Self-Esteem helps us cope with what is going on with our lives and reminds us that we have a right to be happy. Part of this can come from the people around us. When the people in our lives approve of us by loving, encouraging, and supporting the things we do, we feel good about doing it, but depending on that feeling of approval is risky, because it is not always in our control. True self-esteem comes from feeling good about what we do, knowing that what we are doing is right and virtuous, knowing that we are capable of doing what we are doing, and knowing that we can do anything we put our minds to and we will be successful. 

Doesn't that just sound ideal? I want that! Unfortunately I can't just put this atop my Christmas list and hope Santa deems me a good girl this year. Like I said before, it can only be something I find for myself from within.

Just to start to you with something to think about until the next post!

Happy pondering!

On Self-Confidence

I personally believe that self-confidence is the most important attribution that a person could carry with them for the duration of their careers and their lives in general. It's crucial to becoming happy with the person you've become. I think back to situations throughout my life where I had to deal with a person who had low self-confidence. It wasn't enjoyable. They were nervous, fumbling, over-apologetic, and constantly needed my reassurance that what they were doing was right. Maybe it's because I'm in the world of performing arts, but I'm accustomed to being around people who have a heightened sense of self (or at least who pretend that they do). They are more likely to speak clearly, hold their head high, answer questions with assurance, and readily admit when they don't know something. They make me feel good too and inspire me to be more confident in myself. Confidence is vital to success. Becoming a confident person will draws people in. People love to work with someone who is confident in themselves because it inspires confidence in others, whether that be an audience, peers, bosses, customers, friends, whatever.

This is a topic that I'm very passionate. I used to want to make it a career actually - before I discovered acting. I was going to dedicate my life to being a motivational speaker who specialized in discussing self-esteem and self-confidence in young girls. I can't just let it go. You may see posts similar to these in the coming months as I hash out my views on media, bullying, and comparisons and what I think should be done about it. 

First of all, what does confidence look like?

Self-confidence is doing what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticize you for it, and being open-minded towards what other people may consider right, even if it's different from what you believe.

Self-confidence is being willing to take risks and go the extra mile for the things you are truly passionate about in life.

Self-confidence is learning from your mistakes and growing from them. 

Self-confidence is feeling good about the accomplishments you have achieved. 

Self-confidence is being able to properly digest the information people throw at you - accepting compliments graciously, listening to constructive criticism with an open mind and then deciding afterward what you want to do with it, and disregarding rude comments from people you don't care about. 

I encourage you all to find a confidence role model. Find someone in your life that portrays the kind of image you want to give off. Watch them.Study them. How do people react to their positive energy? How exactly do they portray that self-confidence you admire? What exactly to they do? If you are comfortable, you could even ask them how they learned to love themselves. They may have some awesome advice, or recommend a good book they read, or someone to talk to. Whatever they say - TRY. It may work for you too. Your role model is living proof that it is all possible. The most important thing is to keep trying different things until you find one that works for you. Maybe what you are currently doing right now isn't working, so it's time to move on to something different. Otherwise, you will be suck in this rut for the rest of your life. 

I do recognize that there are a lot of lines to cross here. Where does confidence turned into being conceited? And what happens when a heightened self-esteem is used to mask deeper issues? I don't have the answers. Let me think on it and if I think of something, I'll post about it. It's a tough balance between confidence and humbleness. And I dated this guy once that was constantly telling people how awesome and talented he was, but I knew that he secretly was very self-conscious and thought he was fat (he wasn't). His need for constant reassurance was actually exhausting and I had no idea how to "fix" it. I think it's something that has to come from the very core of the individual - they have to want to learn to love themselves. You can't love them for them. You can only love them for you. 

Besides, it's the 21st century. Nobody wants to be that co-dependent couple that have one joined personality. 

Love each other. Love yourself. Love your life and the world we live in. I know there's lots of tough stuff going on, but there really is beauty to be seen if you want to see it! Love your body. Love the city you live in. Love your job and your family and your friends. Love everything.